Patriarchy, man.

So this morning I started watching Orange is the New Black and fell immediately in love. It's amazing, y'all. Tom + Lorenzo did a great, gushing recommendation of it (You Need to be Watching "Orange is the New Black"), and I'd especially note this:

But digging down even further, it’s clear to us that the strength of the tale isn’t that it’s universal and isn’t even that it’s women-specific, but that it tells the stories of the types of women who don’t get their stories told in our culture: black women, Hispanic women, fat women, butch women, bi women, old women, immigrant women, uneducated women – and even a trans woman’s story. When the season is done, you will be astonished at the vast range of women you’ve been exposed to and if you reflect on it, will probably be a little depressed that such stories are so rare in our culture.

It is SO GREAT. In any case, at one point, two of the characters mention Mad Men, which catalyzed the following discussion between fellow rhetorician Patrick and myself.

Handsomeness. It's such a burden.
WARNING: Capslock.

ME: DON DRAPER HAVEN'T YOU BROKEN ENOUGH HEARTS

PATRICK: HE IS THE ULTIMATE ANTI HERO OF OUR AGE! EVEN ON OTHER SHOWS!

ME: HE IS THE SIGNIFIER FOR EVERY RELUCTANT CHOICE MADE FOR SELFISH REASONS

PATRICK: SO NOW! SO SIXTIES!

ME: WE ARE ALL ONLY CONSTRAINED BY WHAT WE THINK ARE SOCIETAL BOUNDARIES
WHEN IN FACT WE HAVE VICTIMIZED OURSELVES BY WHOLEHEARTEDLY BUYING INTO THE IMMEDIACY OF ASPIRATIONAL CONSUMERISM

PATRICK: WHAT REDEMPTION DO WE HAVE EXCEPT TO SLOWLY BURN THE WORLD WE'VE CREATED TO THE GROUND WITH THE SAME PRACTICES THAT HAVE BUILT IT? IS IT STRANGELY ETHICAL OR PURE LAZINESS?

ME: OUR RESISTANCE IS EVIDENCE OF OUR COURAGE
EVEN AS WE BENEFIT FROM THE PRIVILEGES THE SYSTEM HAS GRANTED US
WE DOWNPLAY OUR MISERY TO HIGHLIGHT OUR REBELLION

PATRICK: SUCH IS OUR CYCLE OF PUNISHMENT
WE HATE OURSELVES FOR OUR SUCCESS
JUST LIKE DON DRAPER

ME: OUR SUCCESS, WE PRETEND, IS CHEATING THE SYSTEM
BUT IN FACT WE ARE ESSENTIALLY COMPLICIT

PATRICK: AND NECESSARY
IT IS THE SYSTEM

ME: OUR RESENTMENT IS BUILT INTO IT
DON DRAPER WAS ALWAYS ALREADY THE PATRIARCHY

PATRICK: AND THUS THE TROUBLING FASCINATION WITH HIM

ME: WHY DO WE LOVE HIM SO MUCH? BECAUSE HE IS EVERYTHING WE HATE ABOUT OURSELVES

Oh, Don Draper. You are why I stopped watching Mad Men.