Apple TV+ Thoughts

Apple TV+ Thoughts Let me state, for the record, that I was super-annoyed I couldn't sign up for this before the launch date. Which is a bit of neat psychological marketing: The itch to get it done meant I was thinking about it a lot more. So I've got random spoilery thoughts on the four prestige-y shows they've got, and quick reviews of the other four exclusive shows.

• The Morning Show (three episodes watched)
  Everything about this show sings of the money spent on it. But between the uniformly super cast and then lack of an intrusive score (though, we need to talk about how on-the-nose that torch version of "Creep" was), it's also kind of not like a Sorkin show? And it wants us to think it's a Sorkin show. Except people talk slower. And the women aren't constantly belittled (I mean, they are, but only by the villainous characters).
  
  Crudup is pretty amazingly sharky while being glossily charming. Duplass is pretty amazingly sympathetic while being grumpily grumpy. Carrell is really good at being really awful. (I was legit wondering why they were sticking with a Mitch storyline, but then that scene with Martin Short happened in the third episode, and dang. Yeah, keep running with it, guys.)
  
  Witherspoon is spectacular, but I also have no patience at all for TV characters who are Very Earnest About Being Real Journalists. Because nobody does that, guys. So yeah: Witherspoon is great, but character Bradley makes no sense.
  
  Everyone is talking about how amazing Jennifer Aniston is in this role, and they should. I've always been a fan of hers, but I legit had no idea she could manage the precision she does with this character.
  
  Also: Alex naming Bradley as her new co-host at the end of the second episode is a fucking HBIC power move if I've ever seen one. Damn.
  
  Also also: The opening credits for this make no sense to me, but they also feel a lot like an Apple commercial, so.
  
  
  
• Dickinson (five episodes watched)
  This show doesn't quite know what it wants to be, but there are enough bits that work that I can sometimes ignore the tonal dissonance.
  
  Emily asking Death, in the first episode, when he will come for her, is a pretty bold thesis for a show that's pitching itself as the Amherst version of The OC.
  
  I sort of love how EVERYONE calls Emily out on being a rich white girl who doesn't productively contribute to society. (Look, she is a GENIUS, I love her poetry, but lots of folks can be geniuses AND ALSO wash the dishes once in a while.)
  
  This show is hella clumsy about all things race, ethnicity, and abolition. Henry deserves better than the Dickinson family, particularly.
  
  The random throwing-in of decade-old teen slang is pretty distracting--the casual speech and mannerisms already get the point across. The peppering of nonsense reeks of trying too hard.
  
  I am fascinated by how much this show thinks men are useless in a variety of different ways. Austin is dumb, but apparently extremely good at sexing up his fiancee Sue. George is in ugly Nice Guy territory, but he also seems to be super into supporting Emily's literary ambitions. Father Dickinson is awful and repressive, but also gets all weepy at the idea of his children leaving him. Sigh.
  
  Emily/Sue is a fun, furtive pairing, even though it is really unclear about how they navigate this relationship. But they can kiss alllll they want, and perhaps also dress up in tailored menswear. A lot.
  
  Anyway, Sue can Get It, and I respect the hell out of her. (It is also extremely disturbing and sad at the subtext that Sue is, in part, Getting It because she is destitute and the use of her body is what keeps her both somewhat happy and also fed. Like, she legit seems to enjoy sex with both Austin and Emily, but also, she has no money or place to live. Her Boston situation is straight-up horrifying.) She is bad at setting boundaries, but that seems to be the raison d'etre of Dickinson manor.
  
  In the first episode, goofy suitor George gazes at Emily and muses, "You are so weird. Why am I so attracted to you?" That is basically how I feel about this whole show.
  
  
  
• See (three episodes watched)
  
  
  I was afraid this was going to be super-ableist, with most everyone blind and the two sighted children being "chosen ones" or some such nonsense. And the chosen one nonsense is kind of there, but the show does a lot of work to show how folks have adapted really well. And Jerlamarel (the sighted children's sighted father) is super super super ableist, which is an interesting choice.
  
  This show is shot gorgeously.
  
  Okay, so, like, they give a kind of neat showing of how blind battle happens, BUT. Once battle is joined, how do they tell who they're fighting hand-to-hand? Like, at many points, one of the warriors just straight-up leaps into a group of enemy soldiers, and that way is not the best in terms of making sure you're clubbing the enemy as you move on. ALSO, they shout out strategic warnings to each other, which also doesn't make a ton of sense in terms of surprise attacks.
  
  (Note: The climactic battle in the third episode makes way, way more sense, takes advantage of the scenario, and is way, way cooler. And gory.)
  
  I dig that they rely a lot on "scentiers," ayuras (good hearing), and presages. Folks also are much more attuned to the meanings behind vocal variations.
  
  I dig that writing is once again a form of quipu--it's certainly a more robust form of record than braille.
  
  Baba Voss, punching that bear in the face does NOT make up for the fact that you only barely heard it coming.
  
  WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE SHADOW? WHY DOES EVERY VILLAGE HAVE A SHADOW? But the way they portray the Shadow is very much like...Ariel in The Tempest, I think. Eerie and graceful and always around, but never fully perceived. (Also, let's take a moment to pour one out for #WaywardSisters of #Supernatural.)
  
  Uh, Gether and his aunt? With the tongue? And the UGH. Those two suuuuuuuck.
  
  I cannot figure out Maghra's relationships. Baba Voss calls her "my love," but treats her mostly like a babymama? And she says Jerlamarel was a stranger to her, but she can totally predict and discern his intentions?
  
  I agree with Paris that the kids deserve the truth, but breaking it to them that they're adopted? Low blow, Paris. Low blow.
  
  Haniwa's growing up into a right snobby sociopath, isn't she? Like, mad with the power. Also, that box of books was not that big. How the hell do they know about the major industries of Pittsburgh?
  
  How is Queen Kane remaining queen? Like, I highly doubt she's maintaining a hydroelectric dam all by herself.
  
  So festivals are just one big fireside orgy? Cool.
  
  I have a lot of skepticism about the world-building here, but I do kind of want to see what happens next.
  
  
• For All Mankind (three episodes watched)
  I know very, very little about astronauts, but thanks to First Man, I at least have the context for the shift in timeline. (The fate of Apollo 1 was pretty much the best part of that movie.) A fear of taking risks makes total sense, but also, yeah, no wonder they didn't make it up faster.
  
  The political maneuvering mostly reminded me how awful behind-the-scenes government machinations were/are: Nixon, Kissinger, Operation Paperclip. Ugh. But also: Are RL congressional hearings ever so dramatic? Yeesh.
  
  "Lunar military outpost" sounds more ludicrous every time it's said aloud.
  
  I respect any woman whose idea of flirting is pretending to crash the biplane she's flying. Tracy is so much cooler than Gordo that it's sort of staggering.
  
  Also, Molly is hotter than the sun, and it's kind of ridiculous that everybody has to pretend she's not. All the fanfic about this show is just going to be Molly topping any and everybody in the program.
  
  "Moon maiden." Sigh. But also, I had no idea this Mercury 13 thing was a thing! WTF, America. Also, Hidden Figures notwithstanding, I feel like we haven't grappled enough with the idea that black women were the ones who did all the math for NASA.
  
  It was manipulative as hell, but I did, in fact, get teary at the women's rights montage.
  
  Anyway, YEAH, ladies in SPACE. And I do hope they get to the moon--even though that still hasn't happened in reality, SIGH.
  

And I figured I might as well take a look at the other exclusive offerings on hand, so:

• Helpsters (one episode watched--episodes are divided into two segments)
  What if you wanted to watch Sesame Street, but it just moved way too slow for you? Helpsters is here to sing you into a practical moral code! (It's been a while since I've watched kids' TV with my niece, but this seems pretty decent.)
  
  
• Ghostwriter (two episodes watched)
  A ghost takes over a bookstore and starts magicking fictional characters to life? This is the kind of show that, even though we watched it as kids, would continue to haunt (heh) us through adulthood. This feels like The Sarah Jane Adventures, actually. I might keep watching this one--and if it doesn't have a full-fledged fandom in a month, I will eat my tablet.
  
  
• Snoopy in Space (one episode watched)
  This feels very much like an extended recruitment video (less than ten minutes an episode) for young astronaut camp or something. In that it is charming, teaches me some astronomy, and leaves me with an intense desire to become an astronaut. Well done, Snoopy!
  
  
• Oprah's Book Club (one episode on offer so far)
  I'm really curious about how this is going to work, cross-platform. Will all the books get featured on Apple TV+, but the discussion with stay within the Oprah-owned kingdom? Will we have author interviews once a month? According to press, it seems like we'll have these every two months or so. It's nice, though: Apple has a store in Carnegie Library (huh) to use as a set, which is neat. In any case, it's a neat way to cap off a book selection by having an in-depth discussion with the author. (This time: Ta-Nehisi Coates, The Water Dancer.)
  

There's a documentary on offer right now--it looks pretty nice, but I figured it didn't count as TV in the same way.

New Fall TV Thoughts

So I watched the pilots of MOST of the new network TV shows (and one Netflix show) and wrote down some quick thoughts. (I skipped the CBS sitcoms because they're pretty much consistently "eh, not bad.") In case anyone's curious:

• Prodigal Son (FOX via Hulu): Son of a serial killer; enjoyable but will get gory in the future; plausibility: eh
  Persistence: I haven't watched anything past the pilot, but fully intend to do some mini-binges in the near future.
  
  
• Bluff City Law (NBC via Hulu): Jimmy Smits and his estranged daughter fight THE MAN as part of a respected but tiny law firm; decent enough for this overpopulated genre; originality: zero
  Persistence: I only watched the pilot. I will probably not watch any other episodes.
  
  
• All Rise (CBS via CBS All Access): A former prosecutor becomes a judge in Los Angeles and struggles with balancing JUSTICE and pragmatism; Simone Missick is really great; Los Angeles accuracy: Look at all the brown folk!
  Persistence: I've been keeping up on a weekly basis and digging it A LOT. Possibly my favorite of the new shows.
  
  
  
• Stumptown (ABC via Hulu) is Cobie Smulders being the Cobie Smulderest, if you're into that kind of thing. (I am very into that kind of thing.)
  Persistence: I have only watched the pilot. Weirdly, despite my Smulders-love, I don't feel strongly compelled to watch more? I'll probably watch a couple more anyway, just to see if I get hooked in a little more.
  
  
• Emergence (ABC via Hulu) is...remember, right after Lost ended, and every other new show was about some sort of mysterious unnameable event that had spooky music and zero explanation? This is that, but with a badass creepy child and a protag who looks and acts like a normal human.
  Persistence: I only watched the pilot. I actually didn't plan on watching any more, but a couple of critics I respect have said good things about the developments, so I'm going to dive back in soon.
  
  
• Evil (CBS via CBS All Access) is a good watch (MIKE COLTER), but folks, do not watch it right before going to bed.
  Persistence: I've been watching every week with trepidation. Overtly religious supernatural stuff creeps me out a lot. But it's such a good show!
  
  
• Mixed-ish (ABC via Hulu) is delightful in the same way Black-ish is delightful, but with bonus Mark-Paul Gosselaar. (Will the kids get tooooo precocious? Possibly. But we shall see.)
  Persistence: I have only watched the pilot, mostly because I'm, like, two seasons behind on Black-ish. I will probably watch this season all in one gulp in the future.
  
  
• Sunnyside (NBC via Hulu) is an old-school sitcom, but with an actual, honest-to-god diverse cast. Kal Penn as a disgraced politician who decides to tutor immigrants for citizenship class! I dig.
  Persistence: I've watched the first two episodes and really liked the characters. (The super-rich twins are DELIGHTFUL.) I haven't been keeping up, but I'll probably keep watching this in batches of two or three.
  
  
• Perfect Harmony is...it stars Bradley Whitford and Anna Camp, and I am going to give it a chance based solely on those strengths. Who knows where this whole "church choir hijinks" premise shall go?
  Persistence: After watching the pilot...I see the last five minutes every week before The Good Place starts. I feel like that's enough.
  
  
• Almost Family (FOX via Hulu): This is the grossest premise (a fertility doctor uses his own sperm and he gets exposed, along with a LOT of half-siblings). I think we're supposed to think this will end up heart-warming? Like, with three half-sisters becoming friends or whatever. Eh.
  Persistence: I watched the pilot. I will probably binge-watch this in the summer.
  
  
• Raising Dion (Netflix): I binged this all in one day. I only meant to watch one episode, but Dion is ADORABLE, and his beleaguered mother is pretty charming. There is a Nice Guy problem, but it's 100% intentional, so I can roll with it. Anyway: TINY SUPERHERO.
  Persistence: This was a one-day binge, but I actually can see myself watching it again, if a second season happens. It's great.
  
  
• Batwoman (CW via the CW App): This is 100% a Batman-ish origin story, but hopefully it will get more complex in the near future. I dig that they incorporated Don't Ask Don't Tell into the story, which is the kind of specificity I'm craving.
  Persistence: I've watched three episodes so far--I'm watching batches every couple of weeks. I like it, but I don't usually feel urgent about CW shows. Except for Legends.
  
  
• Nancy Drew (CW via the CW App): What if Veronica Mars grew up in Riverdale, basically.
  Persistence: I watched the pilot. I'm pretty uninterested in ever watching again, alas.

Did I miss any? Let me know!

EW's Fall Movie Preview

Weirdly, I just have not been so into movies lately. I had oodles of movies I meant to watch this summer and I was just...too tired to see most of them. That said, there just aren't all that many movies I find intriguing. Maybe this is just a phase.

Anyway. The weird font choices in EW's Fall Movie Preview were AWFUL. If you saw it, you know what I mean.

Obviously You Haven't Been Paying Attention

• The Last Witch Hunter (10/23)
  Why? It will be a mess, but: Vin Diesel. Elijah Wood. Michael Caine. Rose Leslie. WHAAAAAAAAAAA?!
  
  
  
• The Hunger Games: Mockingjay--Part 2 (11/20)
  Why? Action + weepiness. I will be wrecked after watching this, and possibly through the entire thing.
  
  
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens (12/18)
  Why? I don't think I'm allowed to not see this movie, right? Plus, we'll see if this all makes up for making Mara Jade non-canonical. THOSE BASTARDS.
  
  

Definitely, Maybe

• The Martian (10/02)
  Why? All the press on the book was pretty good. I dig a not-total-horror survivalist story.
  
  
• Jem and the Holograms (10/23)
  Why? I'm pretty sure they will be butchering my childhood, here, but it's Jem and the Holograms. If they get the Misfits right, I will watch this a quadrillion times.
  
  
• Spectre (11/06)
  Why? James Bond. Should be a fun romp, at least.
  
  
• The Night Before (11/25)
  Why? I wasn't interested at all in this--I dig JGL and Anthony Mackie, but eh. Then they posted this clip.
  
  I love this song so much.
  

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE

• Pan (10/09)
  Why? Once again, Hollywood disappoints with casting white people to play people of color. This time around, Rooney Mara (who I like) is Tiger Lily. And the official line of defense, IIRC, is that Tiger Lily isn't meant to be representative of a particular tribe, but rather, they're drawing from a multitude of aboriginal traditions. That's right, cultural appropriation is their actual stance. SIGH.

I suppose I'll be using most of this season to watch the movies I meant to watch this summer? Yeah, most likely.

Entertainment Weekly's 2015 Summer Movie Preview

Once again, Entertainment Weekly has graced us with its summer movie preview. I have some thoughts.

Already Seen at the Midnight Showing

• Furious 7 (April 3)
  Why? Technically, this wasn't in the summer movie preview, but I feel it embodies everything that summer movies should be. Tons of explosions, ridiculous stunt pieces, sincere goofiness, and found family. Also, btw, DIVERSITY. I will have a post about the Fast/Furious franchise sometime in the future.
  
  
• Avengers: Age of Ultron (May 1)
  Why? While I'm more enthusiastic about some aspects of the Marvel Cinematic Universe than others, I think we can safely assume I'm all in at this point. Plus, this is Joss Whedon's last ride for a while, and though he's not quite as awesome as the hype often suggests, he's still got a better touch for banter than most everybody else out there. And Natasha! And Scarlet Witch, WORLD BREAKER.

Yuuuuuuuuuuup.

• Tomorrowland (May 22)
  Why? Disney's 1 for 3 on movies based on theme park rides (for the record, Pirates is the one success even though it. Won't. Die), and I really didn't pay all that much attention to murmurings about this movie. And then. And then. The preview. THE PREVIEW. This movie looks kind of amazing.
  
  
  
• Jurassic World (June 12)
  Why? So I have, for some reason, never seen the very first Jurassic Park all the way through in order. I'm pretty sure I've seen all of it, just not chronologically. Anyway, while I am desperately afraid of face-eating (c/f category below), I make exceptions for dinosaurs. Plus Chris Pratt and Judy Greer? This will probably be hilarious.
  
  
• Inside Out (June 19)
  Why? Pixar's yearly bid to make me cry at a children's movie. And it is about feelings! And the protagonist is a young lady! Let's all encourage this, folks. Let's all see this twice.
  
  
• Ant-Man (July 17)
  Why? We've already talked about going all-in with the MCU. I'm less excited about Ant-Man than Black Panther or Captain Marvel, but more excited about it than Doctor Strange. So. Paul Rudd is quippy. Evangeline Lilly's bangs freak me out. I'll deal.
  
  
• Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (July 31)
  Why? I've long known that I find every Tom Cruise project intriguing, and I have enjoyed the hell out of every single one of his action movies. So, yeah. I am in. I mean, Cruise's Mission Impossible series is kind of like if the Fast/Furious movies were cast with mostly white people, and then talked about loyalty instead of family a lot. But I dig it anyway.
  
  
• Fantastic Four (August 7)
  Why? Okay, confession: while I hold Ioan Gruffudd and Jessica Alba in deep affection, I never watched their FF movies. I never really held much interest in the team overall, especially given that Reed Richards will go fascist evil scientist in every alternate universe ever. That said, Michael B. Jordan is in this, and I want to support the idea that hey, families can be multi-ethnic, and the MCU can use some diversity.

Maybe, if the stars align.

• Pitch Perfect 2 (May 15)
  Why? The first movie was scads of fun, and while I would sacrifice many, many things to rid the world of Fat Amy jokes, I do love me some a capella hijinks.
  
  
• San Andreas (May 29)
  Why? Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. And it's not just a disaster movie, but a disaster movie about THE BIG ONE. I grew up in Southern California, y'all. We did elaborate earthquake drills every year, sometimes with role-playing. I AM READY.
  
  
• Spy (June 5)
  Why? Action movie! Starring Melissa McCarthy, who I love. (Though, as above with the Fat Amy jokes, I wish her movies didn't so often stoop, sigh.) There is a better than even chance we're going to get to see Melissa McCarthy punch Jason Statham in the face, y'all. THIS WILL BE WONDERFUL.
  
  
• Magic Mike XXL (July 1)
  Why? Look, Channing Tatum is hilarious, okay? I sort of hated the WOOOO-ness of the audiences at the first one (listen, ladies, you don't need dollar bills in hand, it's A MOVIE), but the acting was impressive. I mean, yeah. I guess the dudes are attractive, too. But seriously, the trailer? It's perfect. PERFECT. I commend whoever stitched that trailer together, and defy any who oppose me.
  
  
  
• Mr. Holmes (July 17)
  Why? I enjoy all Sherlockian interpretations, and this one stars Ian McKellan. Though, if Sherlock is British, shouldn't the "Mr." be "Mr"?

DO WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS EVERY YEAR?
AKA as Racebending, UGH. Previously awarded to Johnny Depp's Lone Ranger and M. Night Shyamalan's Avatar: The Last Airbender.

• Pan (July 24, or possibly October 9, huh)
  Why? Look, I love me some Hugh Jackman, and I am remarkably tolerant of Peter Pan, in that everything else in Wonderland intrigues me. (I would watch an entire movie about the mermaids, y'all.) That said: Rooney Mara? As Tiger Lily? And, while the EW article nods to whitewashing the (albeit way stereotypical) Native American role, director Joe Wright replied, "The natives, as we imagine them, are constructed from parts of all kinds of indigenous cultures. They're the natives of Neverland, not Earth." Uh, so instead of making a hack job of one particular tribe, you appropriated the intriguing parts from MANY MORE cultures, and then cast a white woman anyway? MAYBE YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE PROBLEM. UGH. UGHHHHH.
  
  And yes, I know that I was talking above about multi-ethnic families in Fantastic Four, but there's a difference between deliberately increasing representation and whitewashing/appropriating cultural markers for convenience. A huge, huge difference.

Special Category: Movies I would love if not for my debilitating fear of zombies and/or stabbiness

• Mad Max: Fury Road (May 15)
  Why? Though I have never watched the original movies, the aesthetic of the franchise is apparently so pervasive that I knew what the movie was two seconds after the trailer started. I LOVE DYSTOPIAS, y'all, and especially ones set in the desert, for some reason. But I take a firm stand on stabbiness and face-eating. Will. Not.

I probably missed some, but I think this list will keep me pretty busy over the summer.

Fall TV Preview: Weekends

Weekends are funny beasts, because there's not really programming, unless you're an SNL watcher (and I'm not). I usually use weekends to catch up on shows that premiered during the week, and that's typically a good number. So what'll I'll put before you now, instead, are the shows that don't quite fit anywhere else.

Thanks, Amazon Instant Video!

• Doctor Who, currently midseason
  We're amidst the new season now, and I'm liking Clara more now than ever. I'm not going to quibble and compare Capaldi's Doctor with Smith's or Tennant's or Eccleston's, because I've found I like the Doctor in any incarnation, because there's always that bone-deep weariness and wary joy beneath every performance. The Doctor is the Doctor, always. (Though, do I just call him Twelve? I hate all this mucking about with hidden Doctors and extra lives and all that.) My current cable package (which came free with my apartment) doesn't include BBC America, so I'm paying for it via Amazon. It's worth it to keep up with conversation and, well, I like putting my money where my heart is.
  
  
• The Legend of Korra, premiering 10/03
  
  
  In a move I find absolutely BONKERS, the fourth season is set to premiere online less than a month after the third season ended. And let's be clear, the third season was astoundingly good, after some excellent but sometimes rocky times in the first two seasons. And every time I have watched the trailer for the fourth season, I have broken into goosebumps.
  
  
  
  In terms of streaming, I will note that The Legend of Korra is only being posted online--not shown on TV proper--and Nickeolodeon has decent streaming. I opt to pay for episodes on Amazon because I prefer to have HD quality for this show, but it's easily found otherwise.
  
  
• Transparent, ten episodes available
  I haven't watched this yet at all, but I've heard nothing but good press. Not only does it employ some stellar actors to bring the story of a family with MTF transgender father, but the crew behind-the-scenes has also been incredibly inclusive. It speaks well for the entire project, I think.
  
  
• Teen Wolf, four seasons available
  I've never watched the show, but I know how fandommy it is. I will start watching quite soon.

Thanks, Netflix!

• Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, seven seasons available
  Aside from Enterprise and three movies, I've never watched any Trek. I don't remember why I started with DS9, but it is SPECTACULAR. I'm midway through the fourth season and hooked.
  
  
• Lost Girl, four seasons available
  This show is a romp. It's faeries and monsters and one tiny loud human, and it's sexy and goofy and occasionally sad. The third season ended with some mythology-upending, and I'm looking forward to binging on the fourth.
  
  
• Fringe, five seasons available
  I'm midway through the second season now, and this show hits all my X-Files-trained buttons. Creepy and gross most of the time, with a stoic and competent woman right at the center. <3
  
  
• Continuum, three seasons available
  I've only watched a couple of episodes of this time-traveling (think Terminator-esque) show, and I've heard it only gets better over time. Hooray!
  
  
• Lost, six seasons available
  In real time, I only made it to mid-second season before I drifted away. I have great affection for the show, even though I know it will enrage me by the end.

Cartoon Hangover (YouTube Channel)

• Bee and Puppycat (11/06)
  I have watched the sublime ten-and-a-half minutes of this show countless times. I gave to the Kickstarter campaign. I AM SO EXCITED. In fact, let's all watch it together:
  
  

CW Seed

• Play It Again, Dick, first episode available
  So meta. So, so meta. The actors from Veronica Mars play "themselves," as "Ryan Hansen" tries to convince everybody to pitch in on a spin-off all about, well.

I'm sure there are other shows I'll pick up and I'll drift away from others, but this is what I've got on the horizon.

This has been a fun week! I need to remember to blog more often. (If anybody has special requests, I'd love to hear them.)

Fall TV Preview: Fridays

Friday nights used to be really busy for me, if you can believe it. That's when the "Friday night death slot" was reserved for kooky science fiction and spooky mysteries. Nowadays, not so much, though a couple of things still pique my interest.

Soon After Airing (thanks, internet)

• NEW: Constantine (10/24), 10 PM on NBC
  I know I once owned the Keanu Reeves version, but I don't think I ever watched it. Based on what people have said about the comic, it sounds like this will fill in the Supernaturalesque void in my life. Which means, I will want to watch it, but will be terrified when I do. Yay?!

I'll Get Around to It

• NEW: Cristela (10/10), 8:30 PM on ABC
  Out of the preview clips I watched, I laughed wholeheartedly at only one bit, but it was a hell of a bit. Cristela is part of the surge of pilots that add more diversity to the line-up, but it feels like a pretty standard family-oriented sitcom. The titular character is an adult woman slowly but surely pursuing her dream of being a lawyer, all the while having wacky adventure as she lives with her sister's family. Lots of broad comedy in the Full House vein, I imagine.
  
  The bit that I enjoyed is killer, though. It comes up at around 0:30 in this clip on Hulu:
  
  
  
  Basically, Cristela works as a paralegal, and one vacuous client first assumes she's a custodial worker, then apologetically switches gears and asks Cristela to validate her parking. YOWCH. It's awful and funny and it happens all the time, and then Cristela, eyes wide, says, "I think you've been validated enough!" If they can manage something like that bit twice an episode, I will watch the whole season.
  
  
• Grimm (10/24), 9 PM on NBC
  
  Grimm is another one of those shows that I like to watch in batches of three or so. It's got lots of interesting ideas--and the recent development of the world outside of Portland has kicked things up a few levels. It's still groanworthy at times, but it's yards and yards better than it was the first season.

Bookmarking for Future Downtime

• Hawaii Five-0 (9/26), 9 PM on CBS
  I watched this show pretty devotedly for two seasons because, as I told my friends, where else would I get to see a cast that included a majority of actors of Asian descent? Plus, y'know, procedural. I fell out of practice with this one, but I still dig it.

And that's it for Friday! Tune in tomorrow for my thoughts on some streaming shows, current and not-so, plus Doctor Who.

Fall TV Preview: Thursdays

We're reaching the end of the week, now. Thank goodness season premieres stretch over a month and a half--if all this was happening tonight, I'd keel over with joy and/or exhaustion.

Real-Time Devotion

• Reign (10/02), 9 PM on The CW
  
  This. Show. Is bananas. It is a gorgeous mix of Dawson's Creek and The Borgias, with a smattering of Supernatural, all wrapped up in the Claire's version of Ren Faire attire. The plotting is based more on what feels right rather than historical accuracy, but they commit to it so thoroughly that I almost don't care.
  
  Additionally, the best scenes are of Mary, Queen of Scots, and Catherine de Medici, Queen of France, having a steely Queen-off about how much more each is able to connive and sacrifice in the name of one's country. Also, one of Mary's handmaidens, Grier, is so far more committed to practicality than epic romance, and I love it. Also, NOSTRADAMUS.
  
  
• Elementary (10/30), 10 PM on CBS
  While I am a sucker for any version of Sherlock, because I like competency, I think this one is the best. Leaning heavily on Sherlock-as-addict, this show has blossomed by making him aware of how much he needs Joan's help, and Joan's friendship, in order to be a better human being. He's aware of how his flaws can detract from his humanness. And Joan is a being separate from Sherlock, even as she's aware of how she's learning from him. It's a wonderful, wonderful partnership, and slowly, the edges of that bleed out into the other characters.

Soon After Airing (thanks, internet)

• Scandal (9/25), 9 PM on ABC
  The last season got a little too gory and gonzo at times, but there were a lot of things I liked about the trials of Olivia Pope and company. First, that Olivia's father spoke truth to Awful, Awful Fitz. (While I would have liked it if he wasn't speaking on behalf of his daughter, his utter scorn of Fitz in "A Door Marked Exit" was so epic that I must include it below.) Second, the revelation that Melly is, in her desperation and heartache and hope. Third, the clothes. Always, the clothes.
  
  
  
• NEW: How to Get Away With Murder (9/25), 10 PM on ABC
  This runs along the same lines as Scandal, though it's not Shonda-run. I like Viola Davis, and this will be an intense, fun ride, as far as the previews hint.

I'll Get Around to It

• Bones (9/25), 8 PM on FOX
  It's kind of astonishing, but not, that this show is still running after so many years. As with all quirky procedurals, I love it for the character depth so many years allow. I like the squints. I like that they generate drama not from will-they-won't-they, but from genuine conflicts between loving and long-term committed partners. And I love it because David Boreanaz, against all reason, is growing more attractive as he ages.
  
  
• NEW: Gracepoint (10/02), 9 PM on FOX
  Honestly, this isn't really the kind of show that draws me in, what with the MOODY TONE and the small town with DISTURBING SECRETS. But I like David Tennant, and I get the impression this is a short-season sort of deal. So I might check it out--at least for a couple of episodes.
  
  
• NEW: A to Z (10/02), 9:30 PM on NBC
  The pilot for this, too, has been up on Hulu. It's...way too twee, a lot of the time, but I like all the actors involved. I'm a bit gunshy after the spectacular flameout of How I Met Your Mother, but who knows? This could be okay.

Bookmarking for Future Downtime

• Grey's Anatomy (9/25), 8 PM on ABC
  I stopped watching this...in the third season? Maybe? When Seattle Grace merged with that other hospital, but before that episode where they killed off half the characters. I've heard, however, that Grey's has taken a turn towards awesome again, so I'll have to catch up at some point.
  
  
• The Vampire Diaries (10/02), 8 PM on The CW
  I honestly don't remember why I stopped watching TVD. I really liked all the actors, and I was consistently impressed with how quickly and decisively the plot would move from episode to episode. I ran out of free time, I guess, and didn't love the show so much that I had to keep up. I'm watching the spin-off, though, so I may return to TVD again in the future.

And that's Thursday! It'll keep me busy.

Fall TV Preview: Wednesdays

I continually puzzle over the whys and hows of TV scheduling. Wednesday seems like a night ripe for drama, but almost nothing currently scheduled appeals to me. Meanwhile, Tuesdays and Thursdays are stuffed. Why is counter-programming so difficult for networks?

Soon After Airing (thanks, internet)

• NEW: Black-ish (9/24), 9:30 PM on ABC
  
  There's been a lot of press about the diversity in this season's pilots, and Black-ish is one of my favorite examples. While there's a lot to be said for shows that don't make a big deal about race/ethnicity, there's a lot of depth that could be mined from facing the questions head-on. Plus, Laurence Fishburne.

Bookmarking for Future Downtime

• Arrow (10/08), 8 PM on The CW
  As I mentioned before, I watched maybe two episodes of this, and then got more invested in other shows. Friends continue to rave about it, though, so it's on my radar.
  
  
• Nashville (9/24), 10 PM on ABC
  I really like the idea of this show in theory, most particularly that it shows women in conflict for valid, career-oriented, and Bechdel-test-passing reasons. And I adore Connie Britton. I just...other stuff has been more interesting to me. But I will pick this show up eventually.

And that's it. THAT IS IT. Wednesdays, I guess, will be for catching up on my Tuesday shows.

Fall TV Preview: Tuesdays

This is about the time in the week when things get SERIOUS. Tuesdays and Thursdays have been traditionally packed--it seems to be when most procedurals and dramas land. So let's dive in!

Real-Time Devotion

• The Mindy Project (9/16), 9:30 PM on FOX
  The show began as a hot mess, and it's only slightly less a mess. Its non-central characters are often annoying in their cartoonishness, and the sense of workplace has slowly become less potent over time. (One thing I liked about the first season is that Mindy, despite her all-over-the-placeness, was a good OB/GYN who took her work seriously, and that pops up less often, now.)
  
  HOWEVER, twice or three times an episode, there's a nugget of emotional reality that stuns and remains to sting. In the season premiere, it was close to the end of the episode, where after an episode of conflict, Mindy and Danny sat down on the fire escape and quietly confessed the insecurities that had plagued them. It was sweet and very real, and then the next scene was Danny doing a stripper dance. The beauty of The Mindy Project, I think, is that we can have both of those things, and it works.
  

Soon After Airing (thanks, internet)

• NEW: Selfie (9/30), 8 PM on ABC
  
  
  
  The pilot for this show has been up on Hulu for a couple of weeks now. It's...not great. It's a show obsessed by social media in the way that education-oriented news sites talk about technology: Look how shiny and awful and distracting technology is! Look upon these works AND DESPAIR! And while this is, indeed, a modern update of My Fair Lady, I think we should also remember that My Fair Lady wants us to think paternalistic, condescending, stuffy, mansplainy Henry Higgins is a viable romantic lead, and utterly right to try and polish up a lady to appropriate proper behavior.
  
  It's an awful premise, is what I'm saying, and I want to hate it, except they cast JOHN CHO and KAREN GILLAN, and now I have to watch it every week. I have so many feelings, y'all.
  
  
• NEW: The Flash (10/07), 8 PM on The CW
  So while I meant to watch Arrow these past two years, I have not gotten around to it. But I will totally watch the spin-off. (This is not uncharacteristic of me, as you will gather.) But I do love me some Wally West. Or, wait. Is this a Wally West show? I know there are other dudes who have also been Flash.
  
  Oh, whatevs. I'll give this a shot, in any case. If it's as awesome as everybody says Arrow is now, then it'll at least be fun.
  
  
• Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (9/23), 9 PM on ABC
  The first season, as everybody knows, was kind of ploddy and slow, and then Winter Soldier happened and things. Got. AWESOME. And, to be clear, I'm a sucker for anything Whedon-related (aside from horror movies), because I like "found family" as a concept, and there will always be quips. And now we've even got a post-institutional-apocalyptic scenario, with a ragtag band of grumpy heroes rebuilding in the ashes. Huzzah!
  
  Also, Ming-Na Wen, guys. Ming-Na Wen is a goddess.
  
  
• New Girl (9/16), 9 PM on FOX
  I'm not someone who ascribes slavishly to the idea that will-they/won't-they is the only way to run romance in a sitcom. There are lots of ways to keep it interesting, if one stays true to the characters (e.g. The Mindy Project). But man, oh man, did Jess/Nick get awful last year. And, for good reason--we endured a few tortuous episodes that illustrated why they didn't work. And now we have all six players being all wacky in this hang-out comedy, and I hope the show continues to build on their penchant for false identities.
  

I'll Get Around to It

• NEW: NCIS: New Orleans (9/23), 9 PM on CBS
  I love procedurals in the same way I love sonnets. I've fallen out of sync with NCIS and NCIS: Los Angeles, but that doesn't mean this one won't be fun. CCH Pounder! Scott Bakula! New Orleans! Those are all things I like.
  
  
• NEW: Forever (9/22), 10 PM on ABC
  The pilot for this episode has also been up on Hulu, and I liked it well enough. I liked it even before we reached the end of the cold open, and I discovered this is a procedural with a protagonist who cannot die and is nigh-Holmesian in his investigative techniques. Ioan Gruffudd is a fun actor, and the dynamics between his character and Judd Hirsch's is super-interesting. I could quibble about how little the world needs quirky procedurals, but I mean, I just also admitted I like the NCIS franchise as well. I'm pretty easy-going when it comes to these kinds of things.
  

Bookmarking for Future Downtime

• NCIS (9/23), 9 PM on CBS
  So I've just been belaboring above about how much I like NCIS, so this is embarrassing, but: I don't like NCIS. Or, I don't like that they seem to have replaced Ziva with a manic pixie dream scientist. Like, GUYS. You already have ABBY. You don't need a blonde version! COME ON.
  
  BUT. The beauty of a long-running show like NCIS is how much weight it has accumulated. It usually doesn't work too hard, but it can do a lot of complex things when it puts in an effort. Small, tiny details over...more than ten years? That's a lot of character heft, even though they use it sparingly.
  
  
• Supernatural (10/07), 9 PM on The CW
  I am, like, four seasons behind now. I dig Supernatural, I dig all the actors, and I really dig the cosmology. I am a lightweight when it comes to horror things, though, so SPN spooks me easily. Also, the show's Big Bad model produced diminishing returns. I mean, once you've already upended hell and fought a war in heaven, is there very much further you can go?

The above might seem like a lot, but actually, this might be the lightest Tuesday line-up I've had in years. It might be because The CW's more recent supernatural fare (Beauty and the Beast, The 100, etc.) haven't really intrigued me. In any case. Weird.

Fall TV Preview: Mondays

Appointment TV during the week is sketchy at best, given the 8-to-5 schedule I keep. If there are errands or lectures or workouts or art classes, TV most often will fall by the wayside.

I'm so glad the internet is usually around to help. I've tried to give up on downloading whenever possible. I mean, I'll still do it ::coughGameofThronescough:: but in most cases, I can find something through official channels within a week or so.

Mondays are pretty chill, TV-wise. Nothing I'd consider appointment TV, but a good handful of shows to keep things interesting.

Soon After Airing (thanks, internet)

• NEW: Gotham (9/22), 8 PM on FOX
  
  I am a sucker for origin stories--I think I kept up with Smallville up to its penultimate season, despite all the rage it inspired. And I dig the idea that this series is a slow tragedy, rather than a hero's journey. Gotham is about to hit a tragic decline, and we're all along for the ride. Hopefully it won't get too gimmicky.
  
  
• Sleepy Hollow (9/22), 9 PM on FOX
  This show, man. This show is all sorts of gonzo craziness. I mean, it gave us ZOMBIE GEORGE WASHINGTON. Plus, again, a fairly diverse line-up (though that might be diminished if they don't include zombie John Cho this season). Plus, who doesn't enjoy Ichabod's once-an-episode astonishment at modern times. I mean, just watch this six-minute summary of the first season. It's INSANE and I love it.
  
  
  
  
• NEW: Jane the Virgin (10/13), 9 PM on The CW
  This may or may not be fun. I imagine there will be a lot of cringeworthy stuff in the first few episodes because, well, that title. But, the idea of a young woman who's close to her family, fairly by-the-book, resonates with me. If it shows some compassion and grace towards its protagonist, it could be really wonderful. Plus, as I will continue to note, I want to support shows that try to reflect demographic realities.
  

I'll Get Around to It

• The Originals (10/06), 8 PM on The CW
  I've got to watch at least one vampire show, right? More than anything else, I love how well this show conveys its sense of history and music and place. Its main characters are intertwined with the ebb and flow of (fictional) New Orleans, and also, they're evil. Like, there is no redemptive arc happening: they are vampires and they have no angst about their people-eating. It's fascinating.
  
  
• Castle (9/29), 10 PM on ABC
  Castle is mostly coasting on the charm of Nathan Fillion, and I'm not going to quibble. That's why I watch it, too.
  

Bookmarking for Future Downtime

• NCIS: Los Angeles (9/29), 10 PM on CBS
  I watched, I think, the first couple of seasons and didn't dislike them. It's good to have on while I'm doing the laundry and such, but I'm not heart-broken when I miss episodes. Or, uh, even whole seasons.
  

So I guess that's it for Mondays! Not super-packed, but a nice mix of tones overall.

Fall TV Preview: Sundays

As I have opined in previous posts, television is the audiovisual medium of my heart. My heart, which went thippety-thump when Entertainment Weekly's Fall TV Preview arrived in my mailbox the other week. And, just as the new rhythms of my non-student, grown-up job have allowed me to read more than I've been able in the past five years, so, too, do I find myself with the ability to watch TV on an appointment basis. Most of the time, anyways.

In any case, here are the things I look forward to watching on Sundays!

Real-Time Devotion

• The Good Wife (9/21), 9 PM on CBS
  
  This show is, hands-down, the best show I watch. Every once in a while it gets too melodramatic and/or goofy, but it's overall splendid. Last season was jaw-droppingly awesome, and I suspect it will continue to stun this season.
  
  

Soon After Airing (thanks, internet)

• Bob's Burgers (10/05), 7:30 PM on FOX
  I resisted Bob's Burgers for the longest time, mostly because the animation style didn't appeal to me. Now, however, I am quite addicted to the heartwarming weirdness of the Belcher family. Louise, the little sociopath, is the most delightful, but Tina's hormone-addled groans are the song of my heart.
  
  
• NEW: Madam Secretary (9/21), 8 PM on CBS
  I'll admit, I'm a bit skeptical of this show, mostly because all the press has been a bit wink-wink, nudge-nudge about Tea Leoni as a Hillary Clinton stand-in. But I like Tea Leoni, and Tim Daly also stars, so I'll give it a shot.
  
  
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine (9/28), 8:30 PM on FOX
  The beginning of this show's first season was worrisome, mostly because I wasn't too keen on Samberg as the anchoring point of the comedy. Over time, however, the ensemble started mesh beautifully. Plus, as I think I've mentioned before, this is possibly the only show outside of Shondaland that is reflective of real-life diversity.
  
  

I'll Get Around to It

• Once Upon a Time (9/28), 8 PM on ABC
  OUAT is delightfully imbalanced, filled with actors I like and sprinkled with plot twists and character notes that enthrall. It is also, however, really bad at dialogue and character consistency, and a bit too in love with its daring. I like tearing into chunks of OUAT four or five episodes at a time--then, it gathers enough density so that I can brush all the dross away and enjoy the fun at its heart.
  
  

Bookmarking for Future Downtime

• The Affair (10/12), 10 PM on Showtime
  I support anything that keeps Joshua Jackson on the air, and the concept of using alternating perspectives to explore a couple of unraveling marriages is intriguing. Unfortunately, Showtime is one of those networks that just never has its episodes up on streaming, and I'm not invested enough to pursue alternative means of consumption.
  
  
• The Walking Dead (10/12), 9 PM on AMC
  Yes, I know it's the fifth season, and I know I have only managed to watch the very first two episodes. My zombie fear is very real, y'all, but I continue to gather my courage.

Well, that's all for Sunday, it looks like. Manageable so far. We'll see how the rest of the week goes.

EW's Fall Movie Preview

Movies are things that happen, and I often like to talk about them. Entertainment Weekly's Fall Movie Preview came out a few weeks ago, and I have OPINIONS. Here they are, categorized by my enthusiasm, as well as premiere date.

Well, obvs.

• Dear White People (10/17)
  Why? I have no idea whether this will make any sort of appearance in a theatre near me, but the trailer is pretty amazing. Also, searingly topical--as a Filipina living in the Midwest and working in academia, lots of bits in this trailer resonated, even if it's not a slice of culture I'm immediately part of. Also, Tessa Thompson (Veronica Mars) and Tyler James Williams (Everybody Hates Chris)! This fills me with joy.
  
  
  
  
• Big Hero 6 (11/7)
  Why? This strums along the continuum of The Incredibles and Wreck-It Ralph, at least to my eye. Lots of superhero and video game aesthetic, and a ton of goofy, Pixaresque action.
  
  
• The Hunger Games: Mockingjay--Part 1 (11/21)
  Why? Given the arc from the first to the second movie, I suspect we'll start to feel the rickety structure of each book: every book is another Hunger Game. That said, I am really, really excited to see how the set design and costuming play out when we get a full movie in the Capitol. Or, well, I guess that'll be in the final movie? So...this one'll be a lot of colorless dystopia. Yay?
  
  
• The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (12/17)
  Why? Let's face it: the Hobbit trilogy has been a huge drag. And everybody knows and feels it, I think. Which makes the trailer absolute genius, plucking our LOTR-heartstrings with Pippin's song, and then asking, "Will you follow me, one last time?" It's a direct plea from Peter Jackson to the audience, to which I reply: FINE. BUT THIS IS THE LAST TIME.
  
  
  
  
• Annie (12/19) Why? This movie wasn't even on my radar until a few weeks ago, when a trailer popped up at some other movie, and it's really an awesome update on the Annie of yore. I mean, Jamie Foxx as the heartless billionaire who adopts Annie (the oft-lauded Quvenzhané Wallis) for PR purposes? And Cameron Diaz is slinking back into her Bad Teacher persona to play Miss Hannigan? (Nobody will ever measure up to Carol Burnett, but.) This could be brilliant, but at the very least, it'll be interesting.
  

Mayhaps.

• The Maze Runner (9/19)
  Why? I don't know, man. It's a teenage-driven dystopia, and we all know by now that I'm a sucker for that. I will say, though, that casting an actor of Asian descent and featuring him prominently in the trailer, actually speaking, inspired me to immediate buy-in. Asian guy! Who talks! And may not be a stereotype and/or disposable! Who says representation doesn't matter to the audience? PFFFFT.
  
  
• Gone Girl (10/03)
  Why? This is the book everybody was talking about for half a year, right? I checked it out from the library yesterday, as I feel it is important to keep up with these sorts of pop cultural phenomena. Also, I...think I'm a Ben Affleck fan? I don't know. Maybe.
  
  
• The Book of Life (10/17)
  Why? It is a Dia de los Muertos-themed animated feature (a la Nightmare Before Christmas, I assume), with Zoe Saldana and Channing Tatum as the top-billed voice actors. So. Yes. I will pay money to watch this.
  
  
• Interstellar (11/07)
  Why? Honestly, I can usually take or leave Nolan's work. Or, I avidly watched Batman Begins and Inception, and then grew weary of Nolan's ever-so-grayness. But my soul also craves originalish science fiction, and it seems like this might fit the bill.
  
  
• Beyond the Lights (11/14)
  Why? This feels like a fairly standard sort of plot. I mean, the IMDB summary is literally, A talented young musician on the brink of super stardom struggles with the pressure of her new-found success. So, not groundbreaking. That said, it stars Gugu Mbatha-Raw, and she is phenomenal. And also pretty. I want her to keep starring in movies.
  
  
• Into the Woods (12/25)
  Why? I'm pretty sure I saw a production of this once, but it didn't dig its hooks into my heart or anything. As with Gone Girl, however, this seems like a thing I just kind of have to see, because we all shall be talking about it. In any case, Emily Blunt kind of blew my mind in Edge of Tomorrow, and Tracey Ullman is also involved in this, so at least those parts will be entertaining. And Christine Baranski is a brittle goddess, in case you hadn't heard.
  

Not even if you paid me.

• Exodus: Gods and Kings (12/12)
  Why not? I've mentioned representation a couple of times in this post, right? So I will just note that I disapprove of the general casting of this movie and leave it at that.

The Summer 2013 Movie Preview

The people may not demand it, but I must impose some sort of order on my summer, yes? Thanks, as always, to Entertainment Weekly's summer movie preview. Title links go to the IMDB.page for each movie (official pages are so bandwidth-heavy, which is no fun for mobile users, amirite?).

Nobody Can Stop Me

• Iron Man 3 (May 3)
  Why? Well, I already saw it. And I'm all-in on Marvel movieverse at this point. And as goofy-weird as this particular series is, the thing underlying and ingrained is how utterly hyper-competent Tony and Pepper are. There is nothing I love more than competence, folks.
  
  
• Star Trek Into Darkness (May 17)
  Why? I really, really liked the previous one, because Uhura. I find this series is flashy and fun, and that's really all I want of summer movies. And who isn't a fan of Cumberbatch these days?
  
  
• Fast & Furious 6 (May 24)
  
  Look at this cast, y'all. OH MY HEART
  Why? It's like you don't even know me. The DNA of the Fast/Furious franchise is inscribed upon my heart: sleek cars, ludicrous chase scenes, bass-thumping music, and a maximally-diverse cast.
  
  The Boston Globe has a particularly good article about how the various ethnicities of the series are the best reflection of the actual movie-going public, and it's even more remarkable because the movies don't really bother to remark upon it. Hey, sometimes folks of different backgrounds hang out, and it's not a big deal! And sometimes THEY DRIVE FAST.
  
  
• Much Ado About Nothing (June 7)
  Why? Shakespeare! Joss Whedon! So many actors that I love! I watched the trailer for this movie a dozen times in a row and ended up wanting to live inside it. THEATRE. Seriously, though, if this does not come to a theatre near me, I may do some weeping.
  
  
• Pacific Rim (July 12)
  Why? Robots! Kaiju! Idris Elba! YEAH!
  
  
• The Wolverine (July 26)
  Why? I mentioned being all-in on the Marvel movies, right? Because let's be honest, there's a very high chance that this movie will suck hard, and also be totally offensive. Then again, Will Yun Lee. WILL YUN LEE. Who is, uh, not Japanese, so already we may need to look sidelong at this movie. Sigh?
  
  
• Elysium (August 9)
  Why? Dystopia! Possibly post-apocalyptic? Whatever, there are cyborgs. And Jodie Foster and Matt Damon do good work. Cody and I already have made a pact to see this.

We Shall See

• The Great Gatsby (May 10)
  Why? Mostly because, well, Baz Luhrmann's movies are always pretty. Never read the book, because I'm not a good English major or, rather, Great American Books tend to be such a draaaaag. So, whatever. But I'll see it. I like spectacle.
  
  
• Now You See Me (May 31)
  Why? Honestly, I have never been super-interested in BECAUSE MAGIC, but the trailer for this movie is crazy-stylish, it's a heist-caper thing, and I like the cast. Sometimes that's all it takes for me, okay?
  
  
• After Earth (June 7)
  Why? Post-apocalyptic dystopia, huzzah! Starring Will Smith and Jaden Smith, hooray! In a science fiction film that seems to be an original screenplay, gasp! And Will Smith seems to be attempting an accent of some sort? Whatever, I'm in. But it's directed by M. Night Shyamalan? I am...concerned.
  
  
• Man of Steel (June 14)
  Why? Eh, I don't know. It seems fine. I just don't expect a lot from Superman movies, I guess.
  
  
• Monsters University (June 21)
  Why? I like Pixar, though I am skeptical of their recent rash of sequels, Toy Story aside. That said, this movie falls within the window of when I am visiting my niece, so chances that I'll see this in the theatre are pretty good.
  
  
• The Heat (June 28)
  Why? I will say this up front: just based on the stills and description, it seems like this movie will be groan-worthy. But it's also an action-comedy starring two women, and their primary concerns seem to be about their careers, rather than men or having babies! I want these kinds of projects to succeed.
  
  
• White House Down (June 28)
  Why? The White House is under attack, and only Channing Tatum's off-duty cop can save President Jamie Foxx! Come on, this is hilarious, right? Hilarious, explosion-filled fun. Also, Maggie Gyllenhaal is involved somehow? Remember when she and her brother were indie darlings? Good times.
  
  
• RED 2 (July 19)
  Why? I still haven't seen the first movie, but it looks like a good time. Helen Mirren! More badass than the rest of the cast combined.
  
  
• R.I.P.D. (July 19)
  Why? I'm pretty sure this movie is going to suck, but it's like an action movie version of Dead Like Me. Remember Dead Like Me? That show was awesome. I wonder what Callum Blue is up to?
  
  
• Fruitvale (July 26)
  Why? I have read nothing but excellent reviews of this movie, and also Michael B. Jordan. That said, I suspect I won't be able to find it in any nearby theatre.
  
  
• 300: Rise of an Empire (August 2)
  Why? I didn't watch 300, and really have no desire to do so. But this movie is about Artemisia? That is intriguing.
  
  
• Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (August 7)
  Why? The first one was fun. I like riffs on Greek mythology, and somehow, amazingly, the casting for the adult characters has been consistently sublime.
  
  
• The To Do List (August 16)
  Why? Aubrey Plaza, I adore you. And Alia Shawkat and Rachel Bilson and Connie Britton? And Clark Gregg and Donald Glover? I bet this movie will be uncomfortably hilarious and ironically heart-warming.
  
  
• The World's End (August 23)
  Why? All my friends seem to be very excited about this movie. I liked Hot Fuzz, I guess. And this movie seems to fit into my genre demands.
  
  
• The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (August 23)
  Why? I have a lot of mixed feelings about Cassandra Clare, and even putting those aside, her work is derivative at best. That said, there are many reasons I enjoy the crap out of urban fantasy, and this movie seems to draw on them alllll.

If Only I Didn't Have a Debilitating Fear of Having My Face Eaten

• World War Z (June 21)
  I know, right? This movie looks awesome, and as we all know, I dig post-apocalyptic scenarios. But zombies! Zombies EVERYWHERE. I'll read the book; maybe that will help allay my fears.

Nooooope.

• The Lone Ranger (July 3)
  Why not? Seriously, this movie is pretty freakin' offensive.

Wow, that's a lot of movies. Way to deliver, Hollywood!

Summer Movie Preview

I'm a bit late with this, since the season has already started. Ah, well. Absolutely, Yes

• The Avengers (May 4) Why? Child, please. I have already seen it. I will see it again. I will see it a third time. It is spectacular.
• Snow White and the Huntsman (June 1) Why? This movie looks AWESOME. I like fairy tales retold, but in ways that preserve the creepy fantasticness of the tale. Everything I've seen of this movie reads like old school Robin McKinley, and I love that.
• Brave (June 22) Why? Pixar! Female lead! Who is an ARCHER!
• The Dark Knight Rises (July 20) Why? Well, of course. I'm not super-excited about it--the second movie, despite the strong performances, did not inspire me--but of course I'm going to see the final of the trilogy.

Perhaps?

• Dark Shadows (May 11) Why? I guess I wouldn't be opposed to it? I don't know. It'd probably be good, campy fun.
• Battleship (May 18) Why? Two words: Taylor Kitsch.
• Hysteria (May 18) Why? Let me quote this snippet from the EW blurb, as stated by the director, Tanya Wexler: "It's a romantic comedy about the invention of the vibrator in Victorina England." And that may sound smutty, but there's a lot of stuff that gets packed into that idea, including medical science, and gender normativity, and societal strictures, and everything in between.
• Men in Black 3 (May 25) Why? I don't know. I like Will Smith? It'll probably be amusing.
• Prometheus (June 8) Why? I have never been a crazed Ridley Scott fan, but everybody seems to be losing their marbles over this movie. So, I suppose I should.
• Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (June 22) Why? So I haven't been a huge fan of the historical/horror mash-ups of late, but when this trailer first came on, prior to The Hunger Games, one of my companions literally curled up in his seat because his glee was too overwhelming. I hope I get to watch this movie with him.
• Beasts of the Southern Wild (June 27) Why? Everything I've read about this movie bills it as a magic realist post-apocalyptic tale. Why...why wouldn't I see this?
• G.I. Joe: Retaliation (June 29) Why? I haven't seen the first one, but I've been hearing much better buzz about this one, mostly due to the influence of the director, Jon M. Chu. Plus, Dwayne Johnson.
• Magic Mike (June 29) Why? I realize this is mostly hyped as the Soderbergh movie about Channing Tatum's stripper life but, uh. Matt Bomer is in it? And he is also a stripper? I'm sure it will be problematic. Yeah, I've got nothing.
• The Amazing Spider-Man (July 3) Why? Let's be honest--I will most likely see this. I like all the actors, and I am a sucker for Marvel movies. BUT. Isn't this too soon? It feels too soon.
• The Bourne Legacy (August 3) Why? This genre is kind of my thing. I liked the Damon iterations of the series, though they got a bit murky at the end, and I'm even more of a fan of Jeremy Renner. AND Rachel Weisz? YEAH.
• Total Recall (August 3) Why? I actually liked the original, but I'm not what anybody would call a Schwarzenegger purist. I'm interested to see what they do with the concept, if it isn't simply an update.
• The Expendables 2 (August 17) Why? Speaking of Schwarzenegger! I don't know, y'all. I just have a shine on for dumb action movies, apparently.

Fall TV Preview!

I have fallen so far behind in the things I used to love. Things have already started showing! I am ashamed of myself. ANYWAY. Here are things I will try/watch/bemoan. Sunday

• Once Upon a Time, 8-9 PM: This is probably going to be pretty bad, but I just really like the idea of fairy tales re-envisioned. It's kind of what I do, y'know? (ABC, 10/23)
• The Good Wife, 9-10 PM: ♥♥♥
• Pan Am, 10-11 PM: Is it unfair that I'm going to watch this Mad Men copycat when I refuse to watch The Playboy Club? Perhaps. Then again, these actresses haven't gone on record as having difficulty breathing in their costumes. (ABC, 9/25)

Monday For the record, I am absolutely not going to watch Two and a Half Men. Though if it gets decent reviews, I will pick it up, just to spite Charlie Sheen's hubris.

• How I Met Your Mother, 8-8:30 PM: Even though they are ON NOTICE after a season and a half of suckitude, I am too invested in these characters to drop the show completely. PLEASE IMPROVE. (CBS, 9/19)
• Terra Nova, 8-9 PM: Okay, with all the hype about Spielberg, et al, I am willing to watch an episode of this. Quite frankly, I expect to be bored very quickly, but sometimes we media critics have to suffer for the sake of our art. (FOX, 9/26)
• Hart of Dixie, 9-10 PM: This show is just like Doc Hollywood, except starring Rachel Bilson! I am okay with that. (CW, 9/26)
• Castle, 10-11 PM: Love the actors, and it's not a bitter pill to watch. I tend to save up and then binge on these over the weekend. (ABC, 9/19)
• Hawaii Five-0, 10-11 PM: Yes, Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park, I will continue to support your careers. (CBS, 9/19)

Things I have dropped, even though I used to care about them: Gossip Girl, House Tuesday

• NCIS, 8-9 PM: Look, this is the perfect show to watch while I fold laundry. (CBS, 9/20)
• NCIS: Los Angeles, 9-10 PM: Weirdly, I like this show way more than the original--probably because they haven't tangled up their mythology (such as it is) so much that everybody is working some sort of hidden agenda. That is, I remember most things that happened last season on this show--I can't say the same of the original series. Plus: semi-wacky procedural! (CBS, 9/20)
• New Girl, 9-9:30 PM: I watched the pilot already, and this was generally WAY too twee and aware of its indie-ness, BUT it was decently written and I like the actors. I want to punch most of the characters, so it's a toss-up at this point. If they can figure out how to prolong beats instead of resorting to quick cuts after each joke, maybe I will stop rolling my eyes. (FOX, 9/20)
• Ringer, 9-10 PM: Welcome back to TV, Sarah Michelle Gellar! Please hang out for a while! WE MISS YOU SO.

Things I have dropped, even though I used to care about them: Glee Wednesday

• Up All Night, 8-8:30 PM: I watched the pilot already. This show is AWESOME. It might get a bit tired, but I'm willing to ride it through a half-season, at least. (NBC, 9/14)
• Free Agents, 8:30-9 PM: This one isn't really drawing me, but I do really like Kathryn Hahn. I'll watch a couple of episodes. (NBC, 9/14)

Is this it for Wednesday nights? WEIRD. Thursday

• The Big Bang Theory, 8:00-8:30 PM: I'm not proud. (CBS, 9/22)
• Community, 8:00-8:30 PM: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ (NBC, 9/22)
• Charlie's Angels, 8-9 PM: I am curious. I like Minka Kelly. What of it? (ABC, 9/22)
• The Vampire Diaries, 8-9 PM: I need to catch up A LOT, but seriously, this show is excellent. SO EXCELLENT. (CW, 9/15)
• Bones, 9-10 PM: David Boreanaz, the things I do for your smile. (FOX, 11/03)
• The Secret Circle, 9-10 PM: I am actually not interested in this show, but it feels like it's right in my wheelhouse. Hm. (CW, 9/15)
• Person of Interest, 9-10 PM: Like Terra Nova, I'm giving this a shot based on buzz. I might like this better than the other, but we'll see. Certainly I liked Minority Report, and this has the same flavor to it. (CBS, 9/22)
• The Mentalist, 10-11 PM: The last season finale was WHOA. Plus, quirky procedural! I am easy sometimes. (CBS, 9/22)
• Prime Suspect, 10-11 PM: I love Maria Bello. I love her studied, sassy brittleness. I almost don't care what the show is about. (NBC, 9/22)

Friday

• Nikita, 8-9 PM: GO GO MAGGIE Q! Though I still keep wishing this was the original cable series. (CW, 9/23)
• Grimm, 9-10 PM: Eh. This feels like something I would check out. (NBC, 10/21)
• Supernatural, 9-10 PM: I am two seasons behind. SIGGGGH this show is so problematic. I keep hoping it will get back to its pretty kick-ass roots. (CW, 9/23)

Summer Movie Preview

Once again, Entertainment Weekly helps me make promises my wallet probably can't handle. THIS SUMMER WILL BE AWESOME. (And, to put a slight damper on things, way whitewashed. C'mon, Hollywood! Stop making me sad.) BUT ON TO THE COMIC BOOK MOVIES. YES, DEFINITELY!

• Thor (May 6) Why? Kenneth Branagh is directing Thor, and I am a sucker for Norse mythology. Also, I know just about nothing about Thor, aside from what I've gleaned from various Marvel cartoons over the years. I need to prep for the Avengers movie, okay?
• Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (May 20) Why? This is going to be a wreck, but I am with the series for the long haul. I'll admit, I am still hoping Disney will pony up and bring Zoe Saldana back someday, but in the meantime, I do adore me some Penelope Cruz. Also, they promise mermaids.
• X-Men: First Class (June 3) Why? X-MEN! X-Men prequel, even! Remember watching that first X-Men movie and feeling that horrific cognitive dissonance because it was awesome and yet all wrong? Now we can feel it all over again! It'll be great! And there is James McAvoy!
• Green Lantern (June 17) Why? I am a geek. I hate the SFX for the costume, but yeah. Also, I can maintain a bit of detachment, because my favorite Green Lantern is John Stewart (thanks, Justice League Unlimited), and this one's Hal Jordan. Poor, poor Hal Jordan.
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 (July 15) Why? Of COURSE I am going to see it. At midnight. In costume. OF COURSE I AM. It's also possible I will weep some. I mean, I wept through Return of the King, and I only had three years of emotional investment there. We've been watching Harry Potter since 2001, y'all.
• Captain America: The First Avenger (July 22) Why? I know more about good ol' Cappy than I do about Thor, but my motivation for seeing this is just about the same as the other. How is Marvel doing THREE movies in one summer? Stan Lee is going to be exhausted.
• Cowboys & Aliens (July 29) Why? I...I honestly don't know what this movie is about, but look at that title. I am exactly in their demographic.
• Conan the Barbarian (August 19) Why? Jason Momoa, I am worried that you are being typecast, but if you're okay with it, I will try to support everything you do.

EH, PERHAPS.

• Kung Fu Panda 2 (May 26) Well... My niece loves the first one. I don't see how I'll avoid seeing this, eventually, despite my objections to its original premise of valuing enthusiasm over decades of dedication and hard work. WHATEVER. At least we get to learn more about Po and his father, which I suspect will be heartwarming.
• Beginners (June 3) Well... I kind of doubt this will play in any theatre near me, but it looks sweet in a non-cloying way, and Ewan McGregor never disappoints.
• Super 8 (June 10) Well... In all honesty, I don't see myself seeing this in the theatre, but I like the old-school geekiness of the premise, and JJ Abrams does interesting stuff, usually.
• Cars 2 (June 24) Well... I loved the first movie. The first movie had closure. I know I'm going to see this anyway, but Pixar, whyyyy?
• Friends With Benefits (July 22) Well... This will be crappy, but bearable. Plus, Mila Kunis! If you only see one Justin Timberlake movie this summer, make it this one. (My comments on the other JT movie are below.)
• The Help (August 12) Well... I haven't read the book, but I think this will be interesting and, also, important. And I like a movie that has a lot of real women in it.

NO. NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO. NO. NO.

• Something Borrowed (May 6) Why not? Kate Hudson has no soul, and Ginnifer Goodwin starred in He's Just Not That Into You. Plus this is one of those tired, "I've stolen my best friend's man" plots, and aren't we done with those yet? Please?
• Bad Teacher (June 24) Why not? This will be horrible. Horrible! Justin Timberlake, get back to making music or something. Jason Segel you...need to do more projects involving Muppets. Cameron Diaz, you are not good at acting. OKAY?
• Transformers: Dark of the Moon (July 1) Why not? Didn't we all learn our lesson from the travesty of the second movie? Can't we just rest now?
• The Smurfs (July 29) Why not? Not for all the Neil Patrick Harrises in the world! Though, I'll admit, casting Hank Azaria as Gargamel is pretty frickin' brilliant.

Checking in on Fall TV

Now that we're a month and a half into the fall season, I thought I'd provide an update on how well my TV predictions lined up with reality. It was...surprising. Mondays

• How I Met Your Mother: I haven't missed an episode, and thankfully, they're improving.
• Chuck: Following on Hulu. I'm about two episodes behind.
• House: I have yet to watch an episode. It's still on my Hulu queue.
• The Event: I've watched one episode and felt ambivalent. It's on my Hulu queue, but I'm not very enthusiastic about watching.
• Lone Star: I watched the first episode and LOVED it. And then the show was canceled after its second episode. *shakey fist at the sky*
• Gossip Girl: I watched the first episode of the season, and haven't bothered to catch up on the rest.
• Hawaii Five-0: I haven't missed an episode, though I often watch it a day late via the CBS website. Solid yet frothy fun.
• Castle: I didn't watch for a while, and then watched three episodes in rapid succession via Hulu. It'll probably be weekend-watching, for me.
• Chase: I didn't watch it, and deleted it from Hulu without even hitting play.

Tuesdays

• No Ordinary Family: I watched the first episode and liked it, but I haven't watched the others, sitting in my Hulu queue. Eventually, I guess.
• NCIS and NCIS: Los Angeles: I haven't missed any episodes, but I usually watch these on the weekends via the CBS website.
• Glee: I am two episodes behind, without much urgency to catch up.
• Caprica: On my Hulu queue, unwatched. I actually prefer to watch these all in a row--the cliffhangers of this show, despite its occasional Mad Men-esque pacing, kill me.
• The Good Wife: SO GOOD. I do save these for the weekends, however--a bit of substance to accompany the NCIS froth-block.
• Stargate Universe: I didn't put this on my original list, but I'm keeping up with it. Well, I'm a couple of episodes behind, but it's on my Hulu queue.
• Detroit 1-8-7: This is also an addition to my line-up. I just watched the first two episodes on Hulu, and this show is really quite good. There's a good balance of grit and humor, the cinematography is amazing, and the actors are great--especially Imperioli. It should also be noted that, out of a regular cast of seven, only two are white males. And they don't make a big deal out of it! It just is.

Wednesdays

• Undercovers: I watched this in real time for two weeks, and then decided to let it hang out in the Hulu queue. It's an okay show, but it's not gripping.
• Cougar Town: ♥! I try to watch this in real time when I can, but never any later than the next day.
• Friday Night Lights: Hasn't started yet, right?

Thursdays

• The Big Bang Theory: I am three episodes behind, but I plan to keep watching.
• Community: I never miss an episode, though I often have to watch it the next day via Hulu.
• Bones: I watched the premiere, and the rest are still in my Hulu queue. I'll catch up eventually, but this isn't really appointment TV.
• The Vampire Diaries: I've watched the premiere, but still need to catch up with the rest. This isn't through any reluctance on my part--it's so awesome, I prefer to gorge when I can.
• Nikita: I watched the first two episodes and felt ambivalent. I will catch up, but as with Undercovers, I don't find this especially gripping. Alas!
• The Mentalist: I'm about three episodes behind. I'll catch up--the show is good fun, as always.

Fridays

• Human Target: The premiere of this was pushed to mid-season.
• Smallville: I haven't watched any episodes yet, but I plan to.
• Supernatural: Same sitch as Smallville; I'll get to this eventually.
• Outlaw: I've watched two episodes so far, and will watch the rest via Hulu. Apparently NBC has already canceled. I am not heartbroken, though I do like the cast.

Fall TV Scheduling

Anybody who knows me knows I somehow, inexplicably, manage to watch a lot of TV. This means the Fall TV Previews (via Entertainment Weekly and TV Guide) are very important to my yearly habits. And through the magic of Hulu and network semi-HQ-streaming, I no longer have to employ four VCRs and/or two DVRs to manage Monday and Thursday nights. Mondays

• How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 PM) - Don't you DARE continue to suck this year, HIMYM. DON'T YOU DARE.
• Chuck (NBC, 8 PM) - I actually have no strong feelings about Chuck, but it continues to be good back-up TV fun.
• House (FOX, 8 PM) - As long as the previous season finale wasn't ALL A DREAM, as so often happens with this show, I'm curious to find out where they plan on going with this.
• The Event (NBC, 9 PM) - I'm giving it three episodes to convince me it's worth watching. I kind of doubt it, but we'll see.
• Lone Star (FOX, 9 PM) - My love for Adrienne Palicki means I'll give this a shot.
• Gossip Girl (CW, 9 PM) - UGGGH why can't I quit you? Come ON, Chuck/Blair, just build your evil empire already.
• Hawaii Five-0 (CBS, 10 PM) - Not only is the casting geekalicious, this remake has some of the best buzz of the season.
• Castle (ABC, 10 PM) - I care nothing about the 'ship, and I have a soft spot for wacky procedurals.
• Chase (NBC, 10 PM) - I liked the trailer I saw, despite this being so very generic-looking. I'm giving it two episodes.

Tuesdays

• No Ordinary Family (ABC, 8 PM) - Genre show, instant four-episode buy-in. Despite my enduring affection for Julie Benz, however, I don't see myself adoring this.
• NCIS (CBS, 8 PM) - Wacky procedural.
• Glee (FOX, 8 PM) - I plan to skip over all Will Schuester scenes. I suspect this will dampen my rage considerably.
• NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS, 9 PM) - Wacky procedural, with bonus LL Cool J.
• Caprica (SyFy, 9 PM) - This show is blossoming into something altogether different than its parent show. It's great, but in a totally different way.
• The Good Wife (CBS, 10 PM) - KALINDA. Also, EVERYBODY.

Wednesdays

• Undercovers (NBC, 8 PM) - Spy show, instant four-episode buy-in.
• Cougar Town (ABC, 9:30 PM) - This show is so good. ♥
• Friday Night Lights (DirectTV, 9 PM) - Final season! *weepz*

Thursdays

• The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 PM) - Hopefully it is good like season two, and not "eh" like season three.
• Community (NBC, 8 PM) - ♥!
• Bones (FOX, 8 PM) - Wacky procedural. I am going to try to ignore all the relationship shenanigans, because that way lies only aggravation.
• The Vampire Diaries (CW, 8 PM) - This show is way better than anybody expected. Though I need to watch the last three episodes of last season still, eep!
• Nikita (CW, 9 PM) - Yay, Maggie Q! Yay, women! Plus, spy show.
• The Mentalist (CBS, 10 PM) - Wacky procedural.

Fridays

• Human Target (FOX, 8 PM) - Last season was decent, but not riveting. This season, there is Indira Varma. We shall see.
• Smallville (CW, 8 PM) - I am still finishing last season, but I'm seeing this show through to the end, dammit.
• Supernatural (CW, 9 PM) - Sigh. I guess I'll see this one through, too.
• Outlaw (NBC, 10 PM) - I suspect this is going to go half schmaltz, half wacky procedural. I'll give it a couple of episodes.

And nobody does anything on Saturdays anymore, and I don't plan to watch any of the Sunday scheduled stuff. Not even Boardwalk Empire. TAKE THAT, HBO.

Fall Movie Preview!

Once again, Entertainment Weekly has given me news of things I should care about. Must-See Movies

• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part One (11/19) Why? You're joking, right? It's like you don't even know me.
• Tangled (11/24) Why? Fairy tale remake! With Rapunzel kicking butt, and a dashing thief-like character! I am such a sucker for dashing thief-like characters!
• The Tempest (12/10) Why? Shakespeare and Julie Taymor! Helen playing Prospero! It is going to be so pretty.
• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (12/10) Why? Pevensies! Caspian! REEPICHEEP. Seriously, though, this is my favorite book from the series, and I love the Odysseyness of it. (Though I wonder what they'll do after this--The Silver Chair and The Magician's Nephew are so separate from the rest of the narrative, and The Horse and His Boy and The Last Battle are, well, problematically racist. So.)

Movies That Intrigue Me

• The Social Network (10/01) Why? The concept is intriguing. It's written by Aaron Sorkin. The trailer's pretty awesome. There is Timberlake.
• RED (10/15) Why? Y'all, Helen Mirren is starring in a comic book action movie alongside Morgan Freeman and Bruce Willis. Chew on that for a few minutes.
• Megamind (11/05) Why? Good buzz on this one, and the voice cast is great. And I always enjoy a story told from the villain's point of view.
• Burlesque (11/24) Why? It...it kind of looks like a film-length version of "Lady Marmalade." I would watch that.
• TRON: Legacy (12/17) Why? Even though I never saw the first movie, I love what I've seen in the trailer, design-wise. The bluish glow of the lights, Olivia Wilde's sleek, sharp bob. Neato.

I Would Go Back in Time to Stop This from Happening

• Life as We Know it (10/08) Why? I hold the firm belief that romantic comedies starring Katherine Heigl are bad for women, bad for men, and bad for society.

Summer Movie Must-Sees (and Anti-Sees)

As always, when EW's summer movie preview strikes, I must respond. Movies I Desperately Want to See in the Theatre

• Iron Man 2 (May 7) Why? ♥! And hey, they have TWO kick-ass female characters this time around!
• The A-Team (June 11) Why? 80s-era explosions! Bradley Cooper! Kick-assedness!
• Salt (July 23) Why? Angelina Jolie in an action movie. If you're asking why, you don't even know me.
• The Expendables (August 13) Why? Look at that cast! Listen, y'all, in the background of my childhood is every single movie all of these folk ever did. Missing out on this movie would bring shame to the house of my father, is all I'm saying.

Movies Which Intrigue Me, But About Which I Feel Ambivalent

• Robin Hood (May 14) Why? I can take or leave Russell Crowe, but Cate Blanchett and archery? Rawr.
• Sex and the City 2 (May 27) Why? I saw the first one. Character-wise, it wasn't horrific, although all the other stuff made me break into hives.
• The Karate Kid (June 11) Why? While there is NO WAY this movie needed to be remade, I do really like the cast. I like the diversity in general. I want people to see movies that have diversity!
• Jonah Hex (June 18) Why? On one hand, I lovvvvved the Jonah Hex episode of Batman: The Animated Series. On the other hand, I don't care about Josh Brolin or John Malkovich. On the third hand, Megan Fox. (That third hand is value-neutral, btw.)
• Toy Story 3 (June 18) Why? I never dislike the Toy Story movies, but I'm not sure I really care at this point. Then again, I do have an almost-five-year-old niece, so I might not have a choice.
• Knight and Day (June 25) Why? I am consistently disconcerted by how much my taste in movies overlaps with that of Tom Cruise. Then again, I continue to not care about Cameron Diaz.

Movies Whose Existence I Would Go Back in Time to Undo

• Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (May 28) Why? PERSIA. THEREFORE, PERSIAN. UGH. (I like all the actors, but way to fail at casting appropriately, folks.)
• The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (June 30) Why? UGGGGHHH. I can't decide if the feminism!fail or the crappy, crappy writing is more offensive.
• The Last Airbender (July 2) Why? I loved the cartoon series. This movie spits upon all the awesomeness that the cartoon had. Also, ASIAN PEOPLE ARE NOT WHITE PEOPLE WITH TANS, WTF. Way to MISS THE POINT ENTIRELY.