Well, to start, I should have you watch this performance of "No Apologies," which is everything non-Cookie that I love about this show.
I am pretty sure this show is incoherent, plot-wise, most of the time--its breakneck pace has been compared to Twitter-refined Scandal, but I'd also liken it to Vampire Diaries in its heydey. Every choice every character makes is either AN EPIC BETRAYAL, or no big deal, whatever, we're family. Since I can't properly frame something in the course of five days, I will instead present you with my reactions to major characters, accompanied by a GIF. SPOILERS AHOY.
Hakeem. Oh, Hakeem. You are a toddler. I cannot believe we spent an entire season pretending you were a legit contender for taking over a multi-billion dollar corporation. Every time people compliment your talent, I get sent into a fit of giggles, even though every once in a while I think you've got excellent flow. And I love your fade, for real.
Jamal, you've been making some questionable life choices, but I guess that runs in the family. But you were my favorite non-Cookie character in the first season, which means I will give you some leeway. So, just two bits of advice: 1) I don't care how beautiful your voice is, you can't sing in a rap showdown, and 2) probably stop taking life advice from your father.
Andre and Rhonda. I just. Y'all are in some other universe that is parallel but not completely synced with everybody else. So, you do you, I guess? I look forward to seeing you bungle this whole "murder" thing, because god knows the rest of your family is pretty good at it.
You are the WORST, Lucious. UGH.
Never leave me, Cookie Lyon. Never leave me.
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