Movie Moments IV: May & June 2017

Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2, 04 May 2017, 3D at Cinemark 12
It would be impossible for this movie to evoke the same joy that the first did, simply because the first movie was a surprise. This was predictably delightful (and delightfully predictable), but ye gods, the meta ran thick. (And Ben Browder! Doused in gold paint!) And there were so many stingers that I wasn’t sure if I should leave even after the screen went blank and the lights came on. Too many narrative branches! No clear signal of whether they’re Easter eggs or actually relevant to future stories! Giggles with diminishing returns! Guardians has become, it seems, the most Marvelly franchise of the MCU. I’m looking forward to the third.

Wonder Woman, 03 June 2017, Carmike 12 Cinema
I cried four times during this movie: During pretty much the entire introduction of Themyscira, during the first battle scene, during Diana’s entry into the World War I trenches, and at the battle-climax of the movie. I clocked a couple of plot twists almost immediately (this is a superhero movie, after all, and tropes are tropes), but does anyone really watch these movies for plot machinations? I’d argue that any blockbuster-type movie isn’t really built to wow the audience with plot (though, ye gods, I wish that were a goal much of the time), but rather deliver a particular combination of emotional triggers: nostalgia, anticipation, vindication, and catharsis.

This isn’t a perfect movie. The romance with Steve Trevor is, possibly, lent too much weight, and thus Diana is fairly isolated from other human interactions once she enters the realm of humans. The plot twists, as I mentioned before, are way obvious, and the final battle is yet another iteration of Superpowered People Grimace Unconvincingly. And, while I’ll have to rewatch the movie to be sure, there weren't many Amazons clearly of Asian or Latinx descent, let alone humans--and like Captain America's Howling Commandos, this Steve’s band of merry misfits is a similar “gotta catch ‘em all” collection of token ethnicities.

But, Diana.



Diana, Princess of Themyscira, remains tank of my heart. Funnily enough, at the conference I was attending the weekend I watched the movie, I had actually presented on leadership and tanks (link to a PDF)--in some gaming parlances, “tank” means the member of a questing group who leads the way through the battlefield and draws the brunt of enemy attacks so the other members can get by. In the No Man's Land scene, the scene that so many, many folks cried through, that’s exactly what she does. And I’m tearing up right now, just typing about it.

X-Men Apocalypse, 07 June 2017, HBO Now
Three scenes into #XMenApocalypse and I mostly just wanted to watch X2 again. It's not a bad movie--it just feels like nobody but the studio stylists was really invested in the movie’s existence. Also:

• Folk rolling up on Magneto like he isn't always twelve minutes away from contempt for their petty human fears and cruelties.
  
• How can Erik be a Holocaust survivor but also have two children aged approximately ten years apart but also look exactly the same as he did at the beginning of First Class?
  
• Not that I don't dig Psylocke, but she's pretty out of place amongst the merry band of worldbreakers. (Angel is present mostly for iconographic mascot purposes.)
  
• I'm so down with the Wolverine cameo.
  
• We’ve established Magneto can frickin’ shift the planet off its axis, but sure, his contribution to the final battle is throwing some rebar around. Totally effective.
  
• #XMenApocalypse needed so, so much more Storm and Jubilee.

Deadpool, 08 June 2017, HBO Now
That was as vulgar and hilarious as everyone said it was, and yeah, meta and violent. And yet it kind of had actual feelings deep, deep down? Plus, Zamboni.

I would pay cash money for a team-up movie with Deadpool and X-23. Someone make that happen immediately.

The Huntsman: Winter’s War, 10 June 2017, HBO Now
This was fine? I guess? It just had waaay too much going on. Is it a sequel? A prequel? A new fairy tale spun with familiar characters? I legit had no idea what the first act of the movie was trying to accomplish, and that's a problem, even as things slowly started to resolve in the next hour.


Then again, this happened, so.

Haywire, 10 June 2017, Amazon streaming
I am deeply in love with a deep bench of the most attractive (male) actors they could find, all as setting to a movie devoted to shining a spotlight on how immensely powerful Gina Carano is. Ye gods, this woman.

It's not an extraordinary movie, but it's solid and doesn't do any narrative hand-holding. It trusts the audience will follow along. It's an action movie assured in its own confidence, and I dig it.

Galaxy Quest, 12 June 2017, Amazon streaming
Watching #GalaxyQuest for the first time:

1. This bench is DEEP.
2. Wow, I miss #SDCC.
3. Enrico Colantoni is a wonder, isn't he?

Friends with Benefits, 14 June 2017, Amazon streaming
Whoa, remember when Emma Stone and Andy Samberg were not-famous enough to be the opening exes for a movie headlined by Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis? And flash mobs were exciting instead of annoying AF? The times, they have been changed.

Anyway, this movie is dumb, but I will never be immune to Mila Kunis. And, okay, fine, playing “Pumped Up Kicks” over the credits is pretty stellar punch line deployment. BUT THIS IS THE LAST AFFLUENT WHITE PEOPLE ROMCOM I WATCH, SO HELP ME GOD.

Spectre, 19 June 2017, Amazon Prime
Well, that was a movie that happened, I guess.

Finding Dory, 19 June 2017, Netflix
This movie has more suspenseful sequences than every single spy movie I've watched in a decade. And possibly the full run of Sherlock, I think. Also, two whales breaking out of Monterey Bay Aquarium (because, come on, it is), and nobody noticed? An octopus jacks a truck and nobody loses their frickin’ mind? What a jaded place Pixar World is.

The Girl With All the Gifts, 20 June 2017, Amazon Prime
This is a pretty canny zombie movie. I think it works a little better onscreen than on the page, even. (I famously cannot watch an episode of The Walking Dead without having a precise week of nightmares following.) The slow double-crack of a jaw being realigned pretty successfully conveys the horror without undue splatter.

Legally Blonde, 21 June 2017, Hulu

• I mean, having an understanding of the fashion industry would be good background for going into trademarks and corporate law?
• On one hand, I dig that the message is “don't let folks with their dumb biases constrain you,” but on the other hand, only a rich white person with a ton of support could pivot so extremely in a couple of months, no matter how much they study (but I appreciate the focus on studying)
• Victor Garber offering internships to his top law students, so I guess LB2 is Elle murdering someone and getting away with it.
• Good for Elle, but how hella lucky was she that the stepdaughter had a perm alibi?
• I'm glad the moral of the story is, in part, don't hitch yourself to a complete tool.

Wonder Woman (second viewing), 21 June 2017, Jordan Creek Cinemark 20

1. Still cried all through No Man’s Land
2. That Chris Pine sure can smolder.
3. Aside from the exact 90 seconds of reveal, I think I disagree completely with Thewlis's character work and the direction thereof.
4. I would be so down for The Further Adventures of Diana Prince and Etta Candy.

Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 (second viewing), 25 June 2017, Regal Riverside Plaza Stadium 16
I should first note that our theatre was one of those fancy ones with reclining seats where you can reserve your spot when you purchase. The seats were plush, but of the wrong proportions for petite me. The experience of approved foot-raising was delightful, though.

As for the movie, the tonal whiplash is especially pronounced when you know when the smash cuts will happen--which, in turn, throws the manipulative music cues into sharp relief. Effective, but I'd rather have had them build Ego’s heel turn more organically. (For a dude millions of years old, he sure did fumble his “come to the dark side” pitch really, really quickly.) Even, yes, if it meant tacking on another twenty minutes. Or, HEY, doing something besides that cheesy as hell “playing catch” scene.

Anyway, knowing what happens to Yondu makes that two-second flashback of Yondu and young Peter a pretty painful gut punch. And the interactions between Nebula and Gamora have a depth I didn't quite catch while Gamora was hoisting a comically-giant piece of artillery onto her shoulder.

Groot: still adorable. Rocket’s arc: still overplayed, but touching nonetheless. Mantis and Drax: still delightful.