Movie Moments XLVI: September 2020 (John Wick Edition)

Keanu trilogy number three, LET’S GO.

Also, the number of GIFs in this post does not accurately reflect how many little bits of fight choreography I rewound to rewatch multiple times. I’ve become addicted to GIFs, basically. THESE MOVIES ARE PERFECT, OKAY.


This entire series is so gorgeous I can barely deal with it.

Also, uh, if you are not into ultraviolence or tragic pet death, here are just the scenes of Keanu with an adorable puppy:



John Wick, 09 September 2020, streamed via Amazon Video

• So that first scene had some major Tony Stark, “I should probably lie down. Please know that... when I drift off, I will think about you” vibes. The entirety of the early mourning scenes are gorgeous.
  
  
• I am deeply into Wick’s house, but also, could they possibly have a more perfect house to have a gun battle through? I mean, honestly. SO MANY sightlines.
• Helen was merciless in her love.
  
• WHY WOULD YOU KILL THE DOG YOU MONSTERS. And Daisy dragged herself over to John before she died?! DANG, scriptwriters, way to get the audience 100% behind annihilating all these dudes and everything they have ever loved.
• For real, though, the first twenty minutes of this movie do a hella lot of work and I may never stop being impressed. I mean, the music cues ALONE are genius.
• I appreciate that every single person in the know immediately accepts Theon is going to die, painfully and wallowing in terror. You done fucked up, Greyjoy.
• Wick’s nickname was Baba Yaga? Like, Baba Yaga, the Slavic witch in the woods who lives in a house with chicken legs? The immortal shaman who devours the men who dare to approach her without due reverence? Yeah, that checks out. But also: Why did they try to regender Baba Yaga? C’mon, my dudes?
• I know we’re supposed to be all impressed by all of Wick’s tattoos, but honestly, I was too distracted by the WILD font choices they made for their translated Russian.
  
• The entire battle in the house is...balletic is the word, I think. Like, that one bit where he just leaped into one dude’s arms as leverage in taking another dude out. And then this.
  
• The absurdity of the doorbell following the fight is perfect, and then: "You, uh, working again?" “No, just sorting some stuff out.” “Ah, well. I’ll leave you be, then. Night, John.” “Good night, Jimmy.”
  WHO IS THIS MAN.
• What currency are those gold coins? Who mints gold anymore?
• Adrianne Palicki! It’s been too long, queen of my heart, ever-lost mockingbird.
• Am I going to be writing some Addy/Perkins fanfic? Absolutely I am.
• Woman who was cast solely to have a camera focused on her ass and never, ever her face, I hope they paid you a decent amount of money for this role.
• Seriously, Wick is supposed to be, like, the assassin that assassins have nightmares about, and yet everybody not trying to kill him is simply charmed when they see him again. Like, he and Francis have a nice little chat before he tells Francis to take the night off. He must have been the cheeriest assassin ever.
• I cannot BELIEVE I could not find a GIF of this shot. WTF internet?
  
• Meanwhile, this is just an EXCELLENT little piece of comedy right in the middle of things.
  
• HOW IS THIS CLUB SCENE FIGHT MUSIC THE PLATONIC IDEAL OF ITSELF
• Lance Reddick’s concierge at the assassin hotel is named CHARON?! THIS MOVIE IS PERFECT.
• Marcus deliberately missing a sniper shot at John to warn him about Perkins is kind of sweet? This movie is messing me up, guys.
• Will I ALSO be writing Perkins/Wick fanfic? Mayhaps.
  
• Och, Harry. We barely knew ye.
• Funnily enough, it’s still possible that dude Wick kneecapped is a real priest? Just, I suppose, not a great one.
• They needed two vans to slow my dude down, which puts him on a Fast and the Furious trajectory, I suspect.
• I can’t deal with this speech, guys.

  “When Helen died I lost everything. Until that dog arrived on my doorstep. A final gift from my wife. In that moment I received some semblance of hope. An opportunity to grieve unalone. And your son took that from me. Stole that from me. Killed that from me. People keep asking if I’m back. And I haven’t really had an answer. But now, yeah, I’m thinking I’m back. So you can either hand over your son or you can die screaming alongside him.”

  Is it the script that failed more, or the director who wanted it to crescendo? Because, like, it is certainly not playing to Keanu’s strengths in any way--he excels at making dialogue seem like a human would say the words, but none of that speech was meant to sound human.
• Kudos to Wick for excellently deploying Sheathing the Sword. I want to say it’s too hacky to be effective, but it’s impossible to deny such badassery.
• AHHHHH PUPPY
  

Me through the entire runtime of this movie.


John Wick: Chapter 2, 10 September 2020, Blu-ray via Redbox

• Hey, look, Wick seems somewhat happy here! With his puppy! Surely this will not last.
  
• Aw, man, we’re still dealing with Theon’s fuck-up from the last movie? Sigh. Also, JUST GIVE THE CAR BACK, MAN. I mean, yeah, that will not stop Baba Yaga, but it’s a nice gesture. Also, I dig the Tarasov obsession with that pencil story.
• I remain perplexed by this insistence that “Baba Yaga” translates to “Boogeyman.” Conceptually, kind of? But linguistically, no.
• Wick is not above just kicking a dude in the shins and I respect that.
• The echoes of the dudes yelling in pain, and then Wick’s footsteps on metal, from Tarasov’s POV, is just. *chef’s kiss* They could have tripled the length of that bit and it would have landed just as hard.
• The lighting of every scene remains total perfection.
• Oh, John. You’re recementing your assassin stash? You know you’re just jinxing yourself, right?
• NOOOO he just got those windows redone, Santino, YOU BASTARD.
  
• "I have no choice." JOHN. Did you not understand what a frickin’ blood oath is?
• You’re gonna have Charon watch over the dog? You’re gonna get Cerberus back, my friend.
• Ah, Wick’s La Spretto to the Italians. Okey-dokey.
• We’ve got Wick up to four languages now: English, Russian, Italian, and Hebrew. We’re gonna see some Mossad at some point, aren’t we?
• I legit laughed out loud when they asked if Wick was there to hit the Pope. I guess they’d have to make sure?
• Their arms dealer is called the sommelier? Assassins must get really confused when they try to make dinner plans.
• I’m a sucker for a shopping montage. How fun would it be to match this up with a Pretty Woman sequence or something?
  
  
• "You know, I always thought that I’d escape it. That I’d see it coming. That I’d see you.” Aw, I kind of like Gianna. This world o’ assassins has some good lady figures. Too bad these movies keep killing them off.
• Kind of interesting--while the folks in New York were always thrilled to see Wick, everyone who recognizes him in Rome is filled with absolute dread.
• JOHN. I am only accepting this gun battle in the middle of a club dance floor because this is an assassin party. BUT YOU ARE ON THIN ICE.
• Lookin’ fly, Ruby Rose. Or, uh, Ares. (Are all assassins melodramatic classics majors?)
  
• I like the adversarial colleagues chemistry that Keanu has with Common. “I’ll make it quick. I promise.” “I appreciate that. I’ll try to do the same.”
• English, Russian, Italian, Hebrew, and American Sign Language. You’re a talented man, Wick.
• "You stabbed the devil in the back and forced him back into the life that he had just left. You incinerated the priest's temple. Burned it to the ground. Now he's free of the marker, what do you think he'll do? He had a glimpse of the other side and he embraced it. But you, Signor D'Antonio...took it away from him.” Honestly, only Ian McShane could have pulled off that speech.
• I’m deeply in love with this violin assassin woman.
  
• It is somewhat magical that absolutely anybody in NYC could be trying to murder John Wick at any time, as if he was in the Matri--OH MY GOD MORPHEUS HI. Oh, sorry, “Bowery King.”
  
• So Wick makes it a habit to give folks he respects a choice: Keep pressure on this fatal wound I gave you, or kill me and die soon after. I kind of like that?
• HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR THE ARTIFACTS, JOHN. I mean, gun battle in a museum, awesome, but the poor curators, man. Also, the score is, once again, perfection.
  
  
• "You think you’re Old Testament?” That’s a relatively oblique reference for the target audience, scriptwriters. But I dig it SO MUCH.
• "No wife. No life. No home. Vengeance. It’s all you have.” “You wanted me back. I’m back.”
  
• This entire mirror gun battle situation is great, and I am going to spend a lot of time trying to figure out how long it took them to film all those camera angles whilst surrounded by mirrors.
  
• "Enjoy your kingdom while you can.” “And you, its privileges, sir.” Oh, Santino. That little threat got you killed, and that’s even putting Wick’s unstoppability aside.
• "Why am I not dead?” “Because I deemed it not to be.” Ian McShane, y’all. Such a gift.
• I know the second pup doesn’t have a name, but I’mma totally be calling him Cerberus.
  
• This ending sequence is magnificent. HOW IS THIS SERIES SO GOOD.
  
  
• So, like, the entire assassin infrastructure is an entire floor of ladies from the 50s AND one biker hacker chick in a trailer. I dig.

John Wick: Chapter 3--Parabellum, 11 September 2020, Blu-ray via Redbox

• "14 million dollars on his head. Every interested party in the city wants a piece of it. I’d say the odds are about even." LOL.
• Awwww, puppy.
  
• Russian folklore alert! Wick hid his stash behind a picture of Vasilissa the Beautiful, best known for facing off with, you got it, Baba Yaga.
• I am both horrified and impressed that Wick killed a dude with a book. I am horrified with disbelief, however, that he reshelved the book instead of leaving it out for a librarian to repair.
• That the doctor let Wick finish stitching himself up and grab some meds is both, like, the least he could do given he’s a doctor, but also a pretty ballsy risk, given the circumstances. Also, that he trusts Wick to shoot him in the exact right places is...damn.
• I’m always extra impressed when they opt to do a fight sequence without any music behind it. The entirety of the weaponry store! Dang. It’s a great emphasis on the brutality, but also the Foley guys must have a ball.
• They really went to town with the breadth of locales, didn’t they? Like, oh COURSE there are totally stables in Manhattan, so why not use ‘em. Including KILLING dudes WITH A HORSE.
  
  And then there is a HIGH SPEED HORSE CHASE. Also, are those the calmest stunt horses in the biz or what?
• The Ruska Roma? I have so many questions. “You honor me by bringing death to my front door. Oh, Jardani. What has become of you?” Wait, John is Roma? From Belarus?
  
• Too bad about the Director. Yowch. Anyway, the Adjudicator, y’all, dang.
  
  I can’t decide what I think of the portrayal. Physically, she’s great, but the incredibly flat accent in combination with the speed of her speech is...weird.
• Sofia Al-Aswar, queen of my heart, scion of the desert, never leave us.
  
• I feel like these assassin bosses should just know to just leave people’s dogs alone by this point. Also, that fight in the souk was fantastic, but WOW did they go nuts on the sound effects of the dogs chomping. But also, the dog parkouring all the way up to THE ROOF to take a guy out, lordy. Wick, you’ve gotta get Sofia to train your pit bull, man.
  
  
• Honestly, it’s impossible not to make a desert look gorgeous, so did they really need to super-saturate this scene?
  
• "So tell me, Jonathan, why do you wish to live?" "My wife. Helen. To remember her. To remember us." "So you seek to live for the memory of love?" "At least a chance to earn it."
• NO JOHN NOT YOUR RING. Or, uh, your finger.
• I continue to gape at how seldom any of the crowds in these scenes seem to care about the bodies dropping all around them.
• LULZ. And then Zero gets SUPER fannish at Wick, which is delightful. (Does Wick speak Japanese? Or did he pause dramatically just for the sake of it.)
  
• I don’t play chess, but I desperately want this chess set.
  
• Wait, there’s an actual dude working at Admin? WHAT. Maybe facilities management is separate from personnel and accounts payable? Anyway, I dig how as soon as the Continental is deconsecrated, everybody gets the hell up out of there. (Also, given that EVERYBODY gets paged when a contract is opened, I am stunned the Continental doesn’t have a “Silence Your Devices” rule in place. That must annoy the hell out of Charon.)
• "Guns. Lots of guns." Heh.
  
• "And you, Jonathan, do what you do best." “What’s that?” “Hunt,” Ian McShane says, snifter of brandy in his hand, because OF COURSE.
• THEY ARE PLAYING VIVALDI FOR THIS GUN FIGHT OMFG
• Charon’s benefits package must be tremendous, y’all.
• So add Arabic, Japanese, and Indonesian to the languages John can speak, I guess.
• "Hey, John. That was a pretty good fight, yeah?” "...yeah." Oh, Zero, you goofball. Well have you served.
• "We are High Table.” “And we are New York City.” Well, now THAT is a claim.
• Winston talking Wick out of killing him and then killing Wick to get back in the High Table’s graces is peak Ian McShane.
• Uhhh, they just, like, turned away from Wick’s body as it lay in the alley? Foolish assassins.
• The Bowery King and John Wick, finally ready to PLAY. Damn.

Why don’t I own these movies? I should own these movies.