Movie Moments LIV: Gatsby Edition (January 2021)

Funny story: I didn’t actually read The Great Gatsby until a few years ago. Like, I knew it was a classic, etc, etc, but I’ve never been all that eager to gobble down tales of rich white people experiencing woe. When I was in Louisville for the AP Reading a few years ago, though, someone told me the Seelbach Hilton was known as “the Gatsby hotel”--apparently it was a favored haunt of F Scott himself. So when we had an evening free, I read the whole novel on my phone while lounging in one of the hotel bars. I mean, I had to, right?



Anyway. Here we go with some movies about disaffected assholes with money to burn.


The Great Gatsby (1974), 12 January 2021, streamed via Amazon Prime Video
There were a couple of adaptations before this one, but I draw the line when I start to wonder if something’s going to have, like, color and sound. This version’s got Robert Redford, Mia Farrow, and Sam Waterston, so that’s a good sign. I guess?


Imagine having to do the laundry for these schmucks.

Look, this starts out with, like, an hour of establishing shots, and then Sam Waterston doing a voiceover over a sequence of him standing in a motorboat. Older movies are so SLOW, y’all. And I suppose I’ve acclimated to the glitz of what “wealthy” looks like in movies now, so the sets on these seemed fairly unremarkable. Then, y’know, I realized how freaking HUGE all the rooms were and, also, none of these people seem to have actual jobs aside from George. (I want to be contemptuous of the dancing-in-a-fountain-in-evening-wear parties, but I’d be down for it, too.)



Did any of the actors manage to make me have any sympathy for their characters? Uh, I guess? I mean, Daisy and Myrtle seem pretty pathetic, but in a swoony performative kind of way. Jordan is a badass, though--would that the movie focused on her life and times. Her and Myrtle’s dog. Both Nick and Gatsby are complete ciphers, of course, though Redford’s Gatsby is mildly a Bond villain, an intensely focused cipher. (And his eyes are SO BLUE, goddamn, Redford.) Poor George and Mr Gatz, oof, radiate their pain.

Anyway, there was a Charleston scene that was technically a minute-long upskirt shot, so I guess the silver screen of the 70s had its own version of the male gaze. Then again, the scene where Nick arranges that first meeting of Gatsby and Daisy is brill: She’s looking at a bouquet and we see Gatsby pop up in the back of the room via mirror. And then Nick just awkwardly walks out of the room and smokes a couple of cigarettes like he’s measuring out how long they might be canoodling on his sofa. Then again, there is no magic Redford can work that makes "old sport" sound like a thing people have ever said in real life.

G, 16 January 2021, streamed via Amazon Video
This is a 2002 hip-hop version of the story, so at least it doesn’t violate my “no rich white people problems” rule. And Blair Underwood is playing the Tom role, which I found surprising--while the Gatsby (Richard T Jones) and Nick (Andre Royo) characters are both great, Underwood has the most charisma of the cast by far.



Summer G is a self-made millionaire who just bought a mansion in the extremely white Hamptons. Tre (AKA Nick) is a music journalist working for Chip’s (AKA Tom’s) father’s company. And they couldn’t be more clear about how class impacts relationships, as both Chip and Sky (AKA Daisy) are pretty dang condescending towards Summer--both of them talk shit about him being a “gangster” at one point or another. And there are not a few scenes of proud Brooklynites being amused by how weird rich white folks are. But this movie isn’t about class--it got way Othello, in that it’s mostly about dudes being possessive about the women in their lives. And, like, a goodly amount of domestic violence. It’s pretty gross, but possibly also the point?



Sonja Sohn plays the Jordan role and, as expected, she’s the best thing about this entire narrative. At one point she tells Chip she’s going to stab his dick with a plastic spoon and I’m like, queen of my HEART.



Anyway, in a surprise twist, Sky dies. And the movie ends with the ridiculous question Tre’s been asking all the musicians through the entire film: Does hip-hop have heart?




The Great Gatsby (2000), 17 January 2021, DVD
Paul Rudd plays Nick, y’all. PAUL RUDD. I cannot think of a bigger waste of Paul Rudd than the affectless voiceover of Nick Carraway. There’s a half-second moment when he grins as he enters the first party and taps a few steps sideways, and it’s a shame that’s all we really get of Rudd’s Ruddiness. Then again, I like that he spins Nick’s get-me-out-of-here face into something kind of sarcastic and self-deprecating every time.



Mira Sorvino is Daisy, Toby Stephens is Gatsby, and Martin Donovan is Tom. Tom is bland enough that it’s surprising, especially after the last two iterations of Tom. It makes pretty much zero sense that Daisy would leave Gatsby for Tom given what we see here. This Daisy is too self-assured and this Gatsby is too charming. Like, he actually seems like he likes having all those parties, y’know?



This Jordan (Francie Swift) isn’t quite as badass as the first two, but she’s got a compelling slink in her voice. Also, she is incapable of not reclining wherever she goes. But why take up with Nick, Jordan? I don’t understand you. Then again, he also gets prickly with Gatsby when he’s too neurotic about Jordan, which is more spine than the Waterston version ever got to show. Which, I guess, means his outsider mentality is a good match for Jordan’s low-key gossip-mongering. Also, way to keep canoodling in public, kiddos. (There’s a lightning moment when Jordan tries to brush off Myrtle’s death and Nick backs away from her with a little bit of horror. Good work, Rudd.)



I keep wavering on this Gatsby. He’s so smooth at the beginning of the film (like a host instead of a hermit), which doesn’t make a lot of sense. The more he hangs with Daisy, though, the less controlled he gets. He knocks over that clock, of course. He gets uncontrollably giddy. Getting back with Daisy crushes him into a gooey pile of nonsense.



Affluenza, 18 January 2021, streamed via Tubi
Oh god, they took Gatsby and made it Gossip Girl. Fisher Miller AKA Nick (Ben Rosenfeld) is an aspiring photographer documenting the decline of civilization via Those Damn Young People, I guess, in an attempt to transfer to a college in the city. After their grandfather passes and his parents divorce, he crashes at his cousin’s, Kate Miller AKA Daisy’s (Nicola Peltz) mansion. (We’re supposed to be extremely impressed at whatever the hell Steve Gutenberg is doing as Daisy’s workaholic father. *shrug*) He’s awkward, but manages to insert himself into Kate’s social circle by being their pot hookup. I guess. I mean, at least unlike most Nicks, this one has some semblance of a personality, so there’s that.


Gatsby AKA Dylan on the left, Fisher AKA Nick on the right.

As is customary, I GUESS, they cast the most interesting actor in Tom’s role instead of Gatsby: None other than Grant Gustin, THE FLASH, plays him, though he’s named Todd in this film. Gregg Sulkin plays Gatsby AKA Dylan Carson and as is customary, I GUESS, it becomes increasingly confusing as to why anyone would choose him over Grant Gustin. (Not that Todd is in any way a gem, but Carson’s a jerk who promises Fisher a recommendation to a college in order to get at Kate. Carson gives Todd shit at his father’s funeral.)


Kate AKA Daisy on the left, Todd AKA Tom on the right.

Anyway, all Carson’s weird protestations about KATE LOVES ONLY ME are even more ludicrous given she’s, like, sixteen years old. Like, whatever, dude. Also, given as both generations of rich folks are sleeping around constantly, it’s hard to believe that any of these assholes are invested in pure fidelity.


Ah, disaffected selfies. Awesome.

The movie uses tons of news clips (including GWB and Obama speeches) to make sure we know that the film takes place before that recession. It’s annoyingly intrusive, but it does lend all the rich people shenanigans a sense of precarity that wouldn’t be there otherwise. (Carson’s father is, I guess, a Madoff sort of dude. Carson is attempting to propose to Kate in a jewelry store when the clerk informs him their accounts have been frozen. SHE IS SIXTEEN, DUDE.) We reach the climax of the film when eeeeeeverybody goes bankrupt.


But honestly, guys, the country club isn’t the height of Young Peopleness.

Anyway, Gail (Carla Quevedo) serves in both the Myrtle and Jody roles, and is a waitress at the country club restaurant. At one point Kate accuses her of dating Fisher in order to get a green card. I hate every single person in this movie besides Gail.


The Great Gatsby (2013), 22 January 2021, streamed via Amazon Video
I mean, if you’ve got to have another Gatsby, I guess Baz Luhrmann is the one to do it. Everything about this smacks of Pushing Daisies in Ultra HD, though.



I like the conceit of Nick telling this story as a form of therapy. It’s a decent frame and makes the voiceover feel less indulgent. And if we’re going to cast anyone as the vacuum of personality that is Nick Caraway, Spider-Tobey is the one to book. Meanwhile, Gatsby is skulking through the grounds like a post-Victorian ghost doing an impression of Leonardo DiCaprio. Joel Edgerton’s Tom is a dude who wants you to know he was almost first-string on the high school football (well, polo) team, basically, which is a surprisingly weird take. Daisy (Carey Mulligan) is the Manic Pixie Dream Girl that I swear went out of fashion in the early aughts, but also somebody once told her she sounds like Jessica Rabbit and she talked herself into believing it.



Jordan (Elizabeth Debicki) is clearly a serial killer.



I can’t decide if it’s offensive that Black folks are mostly decorative elements in this film. Like, this is the first Gatsby that has ANY BIPOC folks at all. And the whole point of this story is awful white people, so. (Same goes for the way hip-hop gets co-opted to signal montages of disgusting excess.) But I’m thinking offensive.



Meanwhile, the only time Gatsby seems like an actual human being is that one time they run into Tom at the jazz club. And when he’s in proximity to Daisy, he seems to be about ten years younger. The flashbacks to Gatsby’s past are nice, if too precious. Leo is my preferred Gatsby, I guess? If I need to have a preferred version of a controlling, delusional, mannequin of a dude.




Anyway, you guys, I think I kind of hate The Great Gatsby.