The Bourne Identity, 13 March 2021, DVD via campus library
Whoa, remember a world where an amnesiac assassin could traverse the globe with no passport at all? Spy movies nowadays should all be lines through customs, honestly. But I guess he’s in Schengen territory, so. Whatever? (All my writing focuses on the specificity of minutiae, so expect this thread to continue for all five of these movies.) Also, putting a secret stash of IDs, cash, and weapons in a bank that requires an actual handprint? How is this kid not being filmed exclusively through CCTV for the rest of the story?
1) I kind of wish they didn’t do the Treadstone reveal so early--two acts of Bourne just wandering aimlessly through Europe would have been fun. 2) I was going to be like, dang, Treadstone is heavy on the white dudes, but that also acts as an underlying critique, I think. Frickin’ colonizers. 3) For an organization that supposedly churns out unstoppable operatives, they sure were sloppy at assassinating Wombosi.
“Look, you’re acting like I’m trying to burn you here, I’m just trying to do the right thing.”
“Nobody does the right thing.”
This really is a series made for those of us with competence fetishes. Seeing Bourne just casually and perfectly evade capture without even breaking a sweat is breathtaking, honestly. (Not flashy like Bond would have done--007 is a sucker for an audience.) Also, that car chase through Paris? *chef’s kiss*
The Bourne Supremacy, 15 March 2021, DVD via campus library
They fridged Marie, those MONSTERS. (But also, she doesn’t make sense in the context of an action franchise about an amnesiac assassin.) They had a total of THREE whole women in this movie, but then they killed one of them, so. (How great would it be if we pretended Landry and Nicky developed some sort of mentor/mentee relationship offscreen?)
Anyway, it’s kind of difficult to believe Treadstone was at all good at what they did, given how much trouble one amnesiac dude is causing them.
I always laugh when the authorities are in the middle of a major metropolis and then say things like, “We can be there in six minutes.” No you can’t, friends. That’s not how cities work. You won’t even get out of your parking spot in six minutes.
I legit could not tell you how the train of bad-guyness connected together BUT Bourne apologizing to the daughter of two of his victims was extremely good.
The Bourne Ultimatum, 16 March 2021, DVD via public library
The thing with having conspiracies go all the way to the top, or whatever, is sequels then need to establish why the last two times when they eliminated “the top” weren’t sufficient to live life anonymously in peace. Or, I guess with The Bourne Ultimatum, we just decide that killing those last three dudes wasn’t reaching “the top” yet. Sigh.
I wonder how much Franka Potente gets paid when they use archival footage of here. Because they seem to be using a lot of it. Also, it is pretty hilarious how Nicky just happens to be everywhere Bourne needs to investigate.
I kind of love all the surveillance/evasion scenes because there’s, what, fifty pairs of eyes out there? And not one of them notices Bourne, walking along with no disguise, randomly taking out operatives. It’s possible Bourne isn’t all that good--it’s just that everybody else is crap at their job.
The Bourne Legacy, 17 March 2021, streamed via Amazon
Man, Jeremy Renner’s agent is working so hard to get him an action franchise, eh? Anyway, this is supposed to take place concurrently with The Bourne Identity because I guess someone really wanted to pull some Rosencrantz and Guildenstern at some point in their career. These Outcome dudes have way more personality compared to the Treadstone assets. (But they’re not brainwashed so much as chemically dependent? I feel like that’s a tough balance--more likely to rebel, but also much easier to recruit.)
OH MY GOD OSCAR ISAAC HI POE HI
But seriously, guys, I want a movie about Outcome Korean Woman, you MONSTERS. Why didn’t we get more with her, instead of Jeremy Renner being inexplicably chased by wolves? (What was that, anyway? Why? That is not wolfy at all.) Also, Ed Norton makes no sense in his role of guy-in-charge. He’s just...too young, guys.
Rachel Weisz’s scientist claiming, I was in it for the science, in the face of everybody in the program being murdered and the one dude on her side desperate for chemicals is, well. Way to fail your bioethics, madam.
Anyway, a significant chunk of this film is in Manila (and actually filmed there), so please picture my requisite and sincere glee here. MABUHAY PILIPINAS.
Jason Bourne, DVD via campus library
Nicky Parsons, you need a new hobby. Also, Jason, you’re ten years older now--do you really have to make your living doing random cage fights? Also, CIA, why do you keep forming these ultra-secret operative training programs when the same two people keep outing you? (I do really like the version of reality where Nicky and Bourne meet up every few months so she can scold him for not doing more good in the world, and he tells her, no, he’s out for real this time. FOR REAL THIS TIME.) Also, must the women of this franchise always be the ones to feel compassion for Bourne?
That Bourne’s father was personally involved in starting up Treadstone is incredibly boring.
There’s something pretty crunchy about having Tommy Lee Jones, as the CIA director, scold Riz Ahmed, tech entrepreneur, for being personally responsible for putting America in danger. Like, step it back, white man. Why should one brown dude be held accountable for all the rest? Yeah, once again noting how incredibly white this franchise is.
The action scenes, as always, are excellent. They just stopped meaning something, like, two movies ago.
These are not movies made to be binged, guys. I mean, action movies have to follow a certain template, but these are strikingly repetitive. Well-done and repetitive. Anyway, that’s it for the “Matt Damon walks across piazzas while tense music plays” series, I guess?
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