Our theatre department is doing a production of Outside Mullingar, and this movie is written and directed by the playwright, John Patrick Shanley, so here we are. Jamie Dornan has a real young-Colin-Firth vibe going on here. And Emily Blunt, well, I would probably follow her anywhere. (Jon Hamm continues to absolutely NAIL the market on handsome, hollow-eyed capitalists.)
Anyway, this is a cute if unremarkable rom-com and then it is revealed the major obstacle between our two heroes is that my dude thinks he's a honeybee.
You read that right.
Only Lovers Left Alive, 26 September 2021, streamed via Prime Video
They had me at Hiddleston, yeah? Tilda Swinton is divine. (She, alas, barely seems to have learned from her unfortunate demand that Margaret Cho explain whitewashing to her a few years ago.) Plus, John Hurt as bitter Kit Marlowe. And oh, ow ow ow, the late Anton Yelchin is in this, ow. My heart.
Hiddleston and Swinton are, let's face it, perfectly cast as ambivalently louche and intensely elitist vampires. Otherwise, there's not much to say about this movie? It's Jim Jarmusch. There's never any plot; there's only poetry.
, 27 September 2021, streamed via Disney+
Why is this movie? Why don't we have the Ursula the Sea Witch movie we REALLY deserve? (Not a few reviews have noted that, if we had to hazard a guess, this was made with the marketing interns at Hot Topic in mind.) Anyway: A trio of guard dog dalmatians killed Cruella's mum. Because, sure, dalmatians are known for being vicious attack dogs. WHY NOT. (But the clothes are great? They're getting at least a couple of Oscar noms for sure.) Like, if we were just watching a tale of bitchy vengeance, I'd be down, but instead we get a tale of how a young woman treats her friends shittily because she thinks she can take them for granted. And like, sure, embrace your shittiness or whatever, but don't expect me to enjoy it when I can see how much you're hurting the only people who ever cared about you.
If this movie was just, like, 11% better, I'd like it so much. All the henchmen/sidekicks are charming! And the tag of Anita and Roger getting their li'l puppies! Cuties. What happens to make it go so horribly wrong?
AND HOW DARE THEY BRING FLORENCE INTO THIS.
Gone Girl, 27 September 2021, streamed via Hulu
It's been a while since I read the book, but I never watched the movie for whatever reason, but the Angel on Top podcasters did a livewatch of the movie, so I figured it was time.
Knowing the "twist," it's sort of easy to nitpick everything, but I...generally feel bad for Nick for most of this? The public demand for performative grief always bugs me. On the other hand: THE COOL GIRL RANT. On the other other hand, Amy's complete consternation when she 1) gets robbed and 2) totally misjudges NPH, has a very oh, the worm has TURNED feel to it that I dig. Plus, the amount to which they lean into public ambivalence about Affleck is up to the level of Anne Hathaway in Ocean's 8, which I cannot help but salute.
I legit fast-forwarded through most of Amy's scenes with Desi, because eeeeuuuughhh.
The Secret of Roan Inish, 29 September 2021, streamed via YouTube
I am immensely charmed by this tiny girl who spots her baby brother living amongst the selkies off the shore. Aside from that, though, I am acclimated enough to contemporary cinematography that this perfectly fine movie from the 90s looked hopelessly antiquated to me.
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