So I was predisposed to love this film. And so I did.
If you’re interested in the historical/cultural origins of Mulan, Tor has a decent summary of the ballad of Mulan, and the Spirits podcast has a great episode, as well. There are lots of threads that could be teased out, but generally, a story that features a sometimes gender non-conforming cis female who has a strong sense of family and a weakness for dudes with broad shoulders hits me with a lot of IT ME feels.
Mulan, 22 September 2020, streamed via Disney+
- Making our villains dark-skinned (though mayhaps we can argue perpetually in shadow) is...questionable.
- I guess when Disney says “princess” they mean “girl who is being compelled by societal expectations to marry some dude against her inclinations.”
- This movie really does not do much justice to the concept of honor. (Or face, if we’re going to get technical about this.)
- Mulan! Girl! Cutting your hair with the sword will dull the blade!
- ”How many men does it take to deliver a message?” “One.” Cutting from the archer drawing the arrow back to black is a nice bit of work, there.
- I feel like Ping isn’t getting enough credit for bringing her own horse and sword to camp. That’s some serious supply-work. Is that why everyone’s so mean?
- Like many first-time instructors, Li Shang makes the mistake of thinking inspiration is sufficient to help students achieve their goals. Ya gotta work on the fundamentals first, my dude.
- Let’s be clear: There shall never be a better training montage song than this. Suck it, Rocky.
Also, I bet Mulan and Steve Rogers would get along like fire. - "Besides, the little girl will be missing her doll. We should return it to her.” *shudder* They are doing a really good job with making the Huns horrifying without actually showing any bloodshed.
- How the heck did they get a panda? You’re in the grasslands!
- "We’re the only hope for the emperor now.” What? You’ve got, like, fourteen soldiers.
- So, like, Ping has a higher body count than the entirety of the rest of the army, it seems. That avalanche, man.
- So Ping actually being Mulan is fraud, but I am extremely unclear on how it’s supposed to be treason. Stupid misogyny.
- So, like, six Huns are able to lock up an Imperial palace and five dudes are the only ones trying to stop them? And there’s nobody else in the palace? AND THE CROWD HANGS OUT OUTSIDE? What the hell, Middle Kingdom?
- Meanwhile, Shan-Yu doesn’t even blink that a woman took down his army.
- THIS IS SO BADASS.
- Everybody bowing to Mulan needed another couple of beats to truly match up with the hobbits at the end of Return of the King.
- Look, Emperor, just because she saved all of China from the Huns doesn’t mean Mulan would make a good secretary. ALSO, you’re just sending her home with a medallion and giant sword in hand? No troop escort? Nothing?
- They really need to bump up Mulan and Shang’s simpatico, but I guess then folks would be all weird about that.
- "Would you like to stay for dinner?” “Would you like to stay forever?” The Fa family is pretty awesome, but man, they should be looking WAY more askance at Shang just showing up out of nowhere. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS, YOUNG MAN.
Mulan II, 23 September 2020, streamed via Disney+
- I 100% do not believe that, post-war, Mulan would suddenly be the hero of all the children of the town. Apparently I have little faith in animated humanity.
- Anyway, Shang and Mulan are engaged, but it turns out they don’t know all that much about each other. And then Mushu, in a play to keep his status as guardian of a hero, stokes the conflict. Mulan and Shang argue about asking for directions. That’s a thing that happens. Sigh.
- In order to cement an alliance, the emperor sends his three daughters off to marry, and Mulan, Shang, and the boys act as their escorts. Oh ho! The three soldiers are looking for wives, and they’re escorting three princesses to arranged marriages? Hijinks are afoot!
- Does Shang not have any family? I feel like this is an intense overlook.
- I came out of this movie pro-arranged marriage, so.
Mulan: Rise of a Warrior, 24 September 2020, streamed via Funimation
Given that Mulan is a Chinese folk hero, there must be tons of iterations of the story already. This latest one is from 2009, titled Hua Mulan in its initial market. It’s dubbed, so take that as you will.
- It’s established early on that Mulan knows kung fu, which is unusual, based on the ribbing amongst local villagers. They also tease her for using “battle tactics” on her father.
- Hua Hu’s farewell to Mulan is lovely: “One day, you will find a new star in the sky and it will be me you see there. And your mother’s there. She must be lonely.”
- Things that will earn death penalties for soldiers: Stealing, bringing women into camp, spreading rumors of ghosts and witchcraft, showing fear. Geez.
- Mulan’s buddy Fei Tiger is, thankfully, around to explain to Mulan she shouldn’t laugh in high pitches. LOL. But he also manages to secure her a bunk by the tent wall so she doesn’t have to be surrounded by sleeping dudes. What a pal.
- So Mulan does nothing to disguise herself except leave her hair tied up and keep a breastplate on at all times. Like. No name change. No voice lowering. Nothing. WTH.
- "Promise me you’ll burn my corpse personally. No one must find out.” “Yes, yes I promise you.” I guess Wentai is a romantic?
- The enemy are the Rourans? I like their fuzzy hats.
- The general died in battle and WENTAI is put in charge? And Mulan becomes a general of the North? I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS.
- The generals keep lines of wooden amulets—dogtags, essentially—hung next to the command tent, which is lovely but also kind of ghoulish.
- The princess of Rouran wants to cement alliances with the Wei through marriage and meanwhile, her father’s like, I would put you in charge if your warmongering brother wasn’t around, as if that isn’t a boatload of foreshadowing right there.
- In battle, Mulan snarls rather than speaks, and her voice is all neutral imperative. No wonder the Rouran king called her a tiger general. (The Rouran prince, Mendu: “A wolf may kill a sheep, but ten wolves can take down a tiger.” Uh, okay?)
- Ah, her WOMANLY FEELINGS led Mulan to go support Wentai instead of guarding the supply camp, which gets many people killed immediately. Sigh.
- Wentai gets killed and Mulan just, like, sits by a fire drinking for a few weeks. Girl, you are not assailing any concerns about your WOMANLY FEELINGS. (The grief is palpable, though. Wei Zhao is overall excellent in this film.)
- OH MY GOD WENTAI IS ALIVE. He faked it so she could become strong? DUDE. She’s gonna be pissed.
- Wentai waxes poetic about how Mulan needs to harden her heart, and Tiger’s response? “You are both lonely.” Tiger’s the MVP of this army.
- Ugh, Mendu kills his father, then announces he’ll be marrying his half-sister. Creepo.
- Partway through a battle a “poison dragon” sandstorm hits and just wipes everybody out, like, was that a thing we knew could happen? And Mulan reunites with Wentai and calls for retreat while two arrows are stuck in her, like, could somebody take care of that?
- Tiger rallies all the wounded soldiers to cover Mulan’s retreat. TIGER noooooo. Buddy, you never got your due.
- While the Rouran army lays siege, Wentai...feeds Mulan his blood? What?
- "I dreamed I was dead. You all left. There was nobody.“ “I count the stars every night. There is no extra one, so you’re not going to die.” Getting better with the romance, Wentai.
- Hu Guei running into enemy arrows to save Tiger has some serious Boromir and the hobbits feels.
- The war dirge the Wei army sings while the Rourans kill all their prisoners...Lordy.
- "Today we will stain the battlefield with our own blood. Behind us is our homeland. If we have to bleed our last drop of blood and become bleached bone in the desert, we will defend it to the death. Let the Rourans see that the Wei warriors will never surrender nor compromise...Are you afraid to die?” “Kill! Kill! Kill!” DEAAAAAAATH.
- Three soldiers immediately volunteer to die in Black Wind’s stead, and I don’t quite get why any of them should die at this point?
- WENTAI IS THE SEVENTH SON OF THE EMPEROR WHAAAAAAAA. And he trades himself to get Mulan’s troop out, awwwww.
- And then Mulan sneaks herself into the Rouran camp? Girrrrrrl.
- "You are new at this. You can’t rule with a knife...and you talk like a drunk who can’t handle his alcohol.” Dang, Wentai.
- Mulan/Rouran princess is the real ship of this movie, yo. I dig it.
- Whoa, they’ve been at war for TWELVE YEARS?
- YAY her father’s still alive! And the emperor totally forgives her for the fraud! And Mulan convinces Wentai to marry the Rouran princess? Ooooooof. Bittersweet.
NOTE: The Disney live-action Mulan is a morass of problems. For one thing, they filmed in a region where there’s ongoing human rights violations against Uighur Muslims, including reeducation camps--which are a form of genocide. The BBC has a useful explainer if you want to familiarize yourself further.
Less egregious but still troubling, the star of the movie, Liu Yifei, has publicly supported Hong Kong’s continuing mistreatment of protesters. I’ll again direct you to a short BBC explainer on those issues.
Mulan (2020), 25 September 2020, streamed via Disney+
- This movie’s claim that Mulan was trained because she had too much chi (uhhhh) is interestingly distinct from the animated version’s observation that she just didn’t fit in, or Hua Mulan’s setting, wherein Mulan learned kung fu because she grew up amongst a bunch of jocular war veterans. (I have a lot of hesitation in embracing Chosen One-type narratives.)
- Oh, they’re Rourans in this one, too! I assume this is to pin them down to a more appropriate time period? Whereas the animated version called them Huns because those are better known?
- I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I’m already pro-Xianniang, y’all. Can’t beat the aesthetic.
- Black Wind is Black Wind in every version I’ve seen, but Mulan’s best buddies have varied from Mushu (guardian spirit) to Fei Tiger (neighbor) to Hua Xiu (sister). Hm.
- Much as the entire world loves Tzi Ma, the choice to have Mulan’s father frame the story wholly undermines what I’d assume the message to be.
- Mulan. Mulan, girl, you can’t unbind and bind yourself in the soldiers' common tent even if you think everybody’s asleep. You keep those wraps ON.
- This training montage was not inspiring enough. WHERE IS MY INSPIRING SONG.
- Is Honghui supposed to be the love interest? I mean, I don’t think there needs to be a romantic angle, but he’s totally being coded as warrior husband material.
- "You must hide your chi!" I mean, I’m not an expert, but I feel like they’re using the term way too broadly. But when the general asks Mulan why she’s hiding her chi, that long three seconds of blank confusion on her face is pretty great. She’s been told to hide for so long she doesn’t know how to stop.
- The bucket challenge is a nice training benchmark, except…excessive chi or whatever isn’t going to make Mulan’s shoulders any stronger. The heck?
- Mulan tries to confess to the general and ends up engaged to his daughter. Snerk.
- Xianniang helps Mulan come to terms with herself by...failing to stab through her chest bindings? Okay, sure.
- I know we’re supposed to feel it’s an empowering moment when Mulan embraces her gender and rides into battle, but I’m just like, Tie your hair back! You’re gonna get snagged!
- Xianniang asking Mulan to join her with tears in her eyes, like I needed any additional reason to ship them.
- The "I believe Hua Mulan" scene was way too “I am Spartacus” for me to take it seriously. Also, that was only, like, less than ten new recruits chiming in, which I feel isn’t enough to turn the mind of a general.
- For three seconds I pretended Xianniang was the new empress and it was glorious.
- Oh, come on, guys.
- The stunts and fight choreography were great, but every time they tried doing wuxia-style fighting, I just wished I was watching Crouching Tiger again.
- OH MY GOD MING NA WEN CAMEO. I knew the cameo was coming, and yet I still cheered.
- Mulan’s reunion with her father is great, but that whole time I’m like, Tell him about your engagement to General Tung’s daughter!
Anyway. Go find a DVD of Mulan: Rise of a Warrior, y’all. It’s excellent.
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