04 August 2020

Movie Moments XXXIX: August 2020 (Indiana Jones Edition)

I am pretty sure I’ve seen the original trilogy, but I legit don’t remember anything except 1) pit o’ snakes, 2) monkey brains, 3) melting Nazi faces.

31 July 2020

Movie Moments XXXVIII: July 2020 (Daniel Craig James Bond Edition)

So, like, these are better movies than the Brosnan ones in a lot of ways, but they anger me, like, 250% more.



New Q, New Moneypenny


30 July 2020

Could You Repeat That? CLXXXII

Forty-eight in this batch!

Vengeful, VE Schwab
Something he'd seen before.
In Victor Vale. In Eli Ever.
A rare kind of strength. A dangerous will.
Someone this powerful belongs in the ground.

Hour of the Assassin, Matthew Quirk
Nick looked south, past the Watergate and the Kennedy Center, watched the river flow like mercury toward the monuments.
"This town," Jeff said. "Makes you miss Baghdad sometimes."

The King of Crows, Libba Bray
It was amazing how quickly her feelings for Sam could slip from wild love to extreme annoyance and back again. She hadn't quite made it back again.

27 July 2020

Movie Moments XXXVII: July 2020 (Romeo & Juliet Edition)

Seven adaptations of Romeo and Juliet! I should also note that I find nothing in the original text romantic or even sweet. How many hours this week will I spend yelling at the TV because teenagers are being teenagery? WE SHALL SEE.

20 July 2020

Movie Moments XXXVI: July 2020 (MCU Phase 1 Edition)

I decided to break the Marvel movies into their phases, because otherwise I’d be doing them until the semester started. But yeah, WE’RE DOING THIS. (Though I should point out that, following my Step Up watch, I find myself disappointed when no dance scene happens.)

14 July 2020

Movie Moments XXXV: July 2020 (Step Up edition)

It was this or Pirates of the Caribbean, and my tie-breaker voted for Step Up. I saw the third one, in the theatre even, but I don’t think I’ve seen the others. On to celebrating the franchise that blessed us with Channing Tatum.

That’s Moose in the center. The other two, I swear,
could be the protags of any of these movies. Who could tell?

09 July 2020

Movie Moments XXXIV: July 2020 (Brosnan Bond edition)

After the Twilight movies successfully shredded all my heartstrings, James Bond is a relief. James Bond wants nothing from me. James Bond is going to do what he does with or without my attention. James Bond DGAF because his life is a series of daydreams spit out by the patriarchy.

05 July 2020

Movie Moments XXXIII: July 2020 (Twilight edition)

I had to look the librarian in the eye while she confirmed that, yes, I wanted to rent all five of the Twilight movies at once. (“You a fan?” Uhhhhhh.) I have to live in this town, people!

So, like, this is the story of a young woman who gets gaslit by her stalker so thoroughly that she decides to change species. It’s apparently a heart-warming love story.

30 June 2020

Movie Moments XXXII: June 2020 (Ocean’s edition)

After many, many franchises all about SAVING THE WORLD, this was an excellent palate cleanser. (Weirdly, I have an intense aversion to casinos, but swanky rich people casinos in movies still fascinate. They carved all the sadness out.)

Anyway, I love heist movies so much. It’s like an urban fantasy about hyper-competent people when they get a little too bored. Or a spy movie, but without any oboes or regret.

26 June 2020

Movie Moments XXXI: June 2020 (X-men edition)

So I decided to watch all the X-movies in chronological order, which means things are gonna get SUPER tangled right in the middle, as there are two branching timelines. Then again, after all the Terminator movies, I am fully prepared to not think too hard about time travel and recursive universes.

Anyway, X-men was my very first fandom, and we’re talking all the way back to the animated series.

14 June 2020

Movie Moments XXX: June 2020 (Terminators edition)

It should be noted that I have only watched Terminator: Dark Fate and The Sarah Connor Chronicles TV show. I have never seen the others before, so I am on another journey!

The Terminator, 09 June 2020, streamed via Hulu
Is it weird that, although I’ve never watched this before, I consider it one of the formative films of my childhood? I was four years old when The Terminator came out, and sometimes it feels like the next twenty years of sci-fi action were a response to it.

08 June 2020

Movie Moments XXIX: June 2020 (DCEU edition)

What I’ve discovered after this run is that these movies are all actually pretty fun if you want to think about character and world-building, but the “plot,” such as it is, generally makes very little sense.

Wonder Woman, 01 June 2020, Blu-ray
  • I will forever be grateful that they didn’t cast a milky-pale woman to be Diana, for the record.
  • Everything about the Themyscira scenes are perfect. And the costumes! They’re made practical even while they seem skimpy. All those tunics look functional, and there isn’t any point when we’re looking at someone’s body simply for the sake of it. (I would absolutely wear any outfit we see Hippolyta wearing. I’d look ridiculous, probably, but it would be worth it. Those heavy skirts slashed so you can still ride and kick in them? WANT.) Everybody with long hair has it braided back in some way so it doesn’t get in their eyes! Seriously, everybody on that island looks like they could do some serious damage, given the need. And the fight choreography! Ah!

02 June 2020

Could You Repeat That? CLXXXI

Look, if I'm confined to my apartment, my reading rate is going to triple, guaranteed.

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, Judy Blume
I caught myself starting to say, Are you there God, but then I remembered that I wasn't talking to him anymore. I wondered if he would strike me down. Well, if he wanted to, that was his business!

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, JK Rowling x2
"I liked the D.A.! I learned loads with you!"
"I enjoyed the meetings too," said Luna serenely. "It was like having friends."

31 May 2020

Movie Moments XXVIII: May 2020 (Alien edition)

I’ve never watched any of these before, so this is a grand adventure! You are getting slightly filtered, but entirely new thoughts! Meanwhile, I am slightly terrified! This is going to be gross, I’m pretty sure.

Prometheus, 26 May 2020, streamed via Google Play
I decided to watch these in chronological order, which should be fascinating, since I recall that folks were less than thrilled with whatever happened in this one.
  • Crew: 17. Oh, THAT can’t be good to know. If ever there was a signal that most of the crew is toast, that is it.

25 May 2020

Movie Moments XXVII: May 2020 (Hunger Games edition)

A dystopian action series that features a collection of uber-competent people and focuses almost entirely on rhetoric? It is, one might say, the entirety of my jam. I have many thoughts.

I did mean to watch the Aliens series next, but I’d forgotten the Hunger Games prequel, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, came out on the 19th!

(Yes, I did read it. I had completely forgotten how clunky Suzanne Collins’s writing is. Like, she’s a decent storyteller, but that prose just thuds onto the ground. I also, like many others, felt pretty skeptical about having something told from the point of view of the villain of the trilogy, Corialonus Snow, because who cares? But I think Collins managed to give us a decent psychological exploration of him--short version: PTSD and a ton of thwarted privilege--and play a little bit with the origin of the Games themselves. I was actually impressed she resisted the urge to throw in tons of Easter eggs--there are a few, but largely they make sense. Anyway: Worth reading, but set your bar appropriately.)

21 May 2020

Movie Moments XXVI: May 2020 (Lord of the Rings edition)

Ye gods, I’d forgotten how long these movies were.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, 16 May 2020, DVD
These films should really be titled Gandalf the Gleeful: Tormentor of Hobbits. And I think we’re supposed to be somewhat charmed by the dwarves’ rowdy ways, but those jackholes ate all of Bilbo’s cheese, and THAT CANNOT BE BORNE. Plus, Martin Freeman is perfect as Bilbo, and having Thorin be a constant jerk to him is a great way to forecast his heel turn. And, I mean, every collection of dudes obsessed with their epic dudeness needs a friend who’s like, “Wait, no, what you’re doing is dumb and you’re not thinking with your brain.”

15 May 2020

Movie Moments XXV: May 2020 (Star Wars Edition)

After watching all the Harry Potter movies in a row, I decided to move on to all the Star Wars movies. It was...an adventure.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace, 04 May 2020, streamed via Disney+
This whole shebang started because the Trade Federation wants to cancel the galactic post office or something, so this is, uh, shockingly relevant for our time? Also, so, like, do you think Senator Palpatine is already playing clones now? Do you think he keeps his Sith robe next to the holo-phone and sometimes mixes up who he’s calling and ends up telling the Jedi Council that he just came out of the jacuzzi? Also, Jar-Jar would have been at least half-again bearable if they hadn’t had him do the “how wude” thing over and over. Also, there’s totally a rich vein of Amidala/Handmaiden fic out there, right? There’s gotta be. Anyway, “Anakin was fathered by midichlorians” remains insultingly ridiculous, but “Duel of the Fates” still slaps.

30 April 2020

Movie Moments XXIV: April 2020

Did I watch ALL the Harry Potter movies this month? Yes, yes I did.

The Current War, 01 April 2020, DVD via Redbox
D’you think Cumberbatch grows weary of playing socially maladept geniuses? Anyway, Tom Holland looks adorable with mutton chops. Anyway, I did not expect so much of this movie to be dedicated to capital punishment, but controversy drives invention, I guess.

Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears, 08 April 2020, streamed via Acorn TV
I watched all three seasons in eight days. I NEED MORE. (Also, all danger and awkward distances aside, how are Phryne and Jack not just, like, constantly boning? I mean, I assume that’s what’s happening whenever they’re offscreen, BUT STILL.) Also, this is a delightful one-off adventure, but I was quite sad that we only saw most of the old gang in that one early scene. MOAR SHOW.

03 April 2020

Could You Repeat That? CLXXX

Lost Children Archive, Valeria Luiselli
All I see in hindsight is the chaos of history repeated, over and over, reenacted, reinterpreted, the world, its fucked-up heart palpitating underneath us, failing, messing up again and again as it winds its way around a sun. And in the middle of it all, tribes, families, people, all beautiful things falling apart, debris, dust, erasure.

Nothing to See Here, Kevin Wilson
I had never wanted kids, because I had never wanted a man to give me a kid. The thought of it, gross; the expectation of it. But if a hole in the sky opened up and two weird children fell to Earth, smashing into the ground like meteorites, then that was something I could care for. If it gleamed like it was radiating danger, I'd hold it. I would.



The Water Dancer, Ta-Nehisi Coates
I nearly loved them. My work demanded no less: I must reach beyond all my particular hatred and pain, see them in their fullness, and then, with my pen strike out and destroy them.

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous, Ocean Vuong
Let no one mistake us for the fruit of violence--but rather, that violence, having passed through the fruit, failed to spoil it.

Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation, Elissa Stein and Susan Kim
Does this mean PMS is somehow linked to ovulation? We're sorry to report this, but the scientific repsponse is: who the hell knows?

Trust Exercise, Susan Choi
From under her eyeliner mask she saw me, the person she'd most hoped to avoid, just as she was the person I'd most hoped to avoid, so that, thinking and acting the same way, our efforts canceled each other. And right away her gaze went hard with the anger we always feel at the person who spoils our idea of ourself.

Overthrow, Caleb Crain
In the dream she had understood that no one who was in a tunnel ever left it. Each one came to an end with its digger still inside.

The Witch Who Came In From the Cold, Lindsay Smith, et al
Copper and crushed Czech wildflowers; ashes from a burnt birch tree and a few dabs of blood. Gabe tasted it like an early spring awakening, blossoming on his tongue. This was how he’d imagined magic should feel.

All This Could Be Yours, Jami Attenberg
Cora had taken an economics class in college and was fairly certain her vagina was a capitalist tool.

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death, Caitlin Doughty
"Caitlin, can you smile a little, you look so dour."
"This is a human head. I don't need pictures of me grinning with a severed human head," I said.
"Sandra's smiling way more than you are, try to look a little less melancholy, please."

Gideon the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir
"Ask me how I am and I'll scream," she said.
"How are you," said Camilla, who was a pill.
"I see you calling my bluff and I resent it," said Gideon.

A Map of Salt and Stars, Zeyn Joukhadar
Does it make it easier to live with loss if you don't name it? Or is that something you do as a mercy for other people?

A Visit from the Goon Squad, Jennifer Egan
"Physics is required. Three semesters. If you fail, you're out of the program."
"For a marketing degree?" Alex was dumbfounded.
"It used to be epidemiology," Lulu said. "You know, when the viral model was still current."

01 April 2020

Movie Moments XXIII: March 2020

Dark Waters, 03 March 2020, DVD via Redbox
Listen, I just need a series of movies in which Mark Ruffalo investigates social injustices hidden from the general public.

Motherless Brooklyn, 04 March 2020, Blu-ray via Redbox
For months, every movie I watched was preceded with the trailer for this film, and yet it felt like it was only out for a weekend. In any case, I dig Gugu Mbatha-Raw and support the choices she makes. And I dig a detective story! I’m sure if I can entirely articulate the difference, but I found myself engaged by the film--the first slice of the film can only be described as propulsive--while being entirely uninvested. I liked it WAY more than I expected, though.

Contagion, 10 March 2020, DVD via public library
'Tis the season, right? But I also thought this might be a neat core text to use for a technical writing class--what kinds of diegetic communication do we see as the epidemic spreads? How are emergencies communicated to the public? How do medical professionals in different countries share information? And what do the non-diegetic markers--things like chyrons and location tags--do to emphasize the messages? BUT ALSO I love pandemic movies, y’all (zombie movies tend to fall into this category). The narrative of the mid-apocalypse type stuff is super-compelling for me, and kudos to Soderbergh for not glamming this up at all.

The Devil Wears Prada, 10 March 2020, DVD via public library
Like, the only time I actually LIKED Andy was when she was choosing work over her crappy boyfriend, so I have a lot of mixed feelings about this movie.

Emma. 11 March 2020, Riverdale 10 VIP Cinema
So this movie is very nearly almost perfect. The first two thirds is perfectly acidic, and then hangs a left right into swoony romantic comedy. And it is GORGEOUS.

Bombshell, 13 March 2020, Blu-ray via Redbox
Margot Robbie is great, and Nicole Kidman is great, and Theron is scarily great. The cast overall is jaw-droppingly excellent, really. This movie is a fun watch, but also infuriating, but also well-crafted, but also too simplified, but also TOO SOON. (Yeah, all these women are objectively awful, but I’m not one that espouses bad people should have bad things happen to them.)

Spies in Disguise, 13 March 2020, Blu-ray via Redbox
Look, one of my local movie theatres had a poster for this movie up for TWO YEARS. Advertising works obviously sometimes. Do I wish the villains weren’t Yakuza-lite? Yup. Is it otherwise a charming spy movie for hyperactive children? Yup. Will you learn a lot about pigeons? Yup.

Jumanji: The Next Level, 19 March 2020, Blu-ray via Redbox
I love Fridge, y’all.

Clemency, 27 March 2020, DVD via Redbox
"Aldis Hodge and Alfre Woodard," she thought as she perused the Redbox menu, "I like them. Oh! Richard Schiff, too?" So, yeah, this movie is exquisitely acted, but also relentlessly grim. (They have minimal scoring, which I find fascinating.) It’s a pretty nuanced portrait of the institutionalized dehumanizing of both being in prison and being a part of the prison system.